Depression | What to Do When You’ve Tried Everything?
Depression can be overwhelming and suggesting to a person who is clinically depressed that they need to get out of bed and do something is, well…, insane.
Suggestions for help with treating depression – even when you’ve tried everything.
It cannot work because depression (major depression) is a brain disease. By its simplest definition, a disease is something that changes cells in a negative way. Depression changes cells in the brain in a negative way, thus it is a one of the many brain diseases that fall under the umbrella designation of mental illness.
Given the brain controls everything we think, feel, say and do, treating depression is critical to a person’s quality of life because its critical to their brain’s health. And note the word, “treating.” Often the person with depression has tried medications, seen a therapist and perhaps even joined a gym but still can’t seem to muster the oomph to get up and go workout. But, it’s important to emphasize: depression can most definitely be treated and a person can live a “normal” life, when their disease is treated and managed properly.
[Of note before I continue: While this post is about depression, first and foremost, it’s also to share the fact that there is a connection between depression and drugs and alcohol. Often a person with depression will self-medicate the sad, lonely feelings with drugs or alcohol and that works for a while because drugs and alcohol work on the brain’s dopamine pathways. Dopamine is our feel good neurotransmitter. However, in the case of alcohol, it can compound the depression because alcohol is a depressant. Not only that, but mental illness, such as major depression, is one of the five key risk factors for developing an addiction to drugs or alcohol, which is also a brain disease. When a person has both depression (or another mental illness) and substance use disorder, both must be treated in order to recover. This is called co-occurring disorder treatment.]
To help those who struggle with depression or their family members who are in search of help for their loved one, I share the following information on what a person can do when they are depressed and just starting to figure it out or what they can do when they’ve been depressed for some time and have tried everything to no avail.
Confirm An Accurate Understanding of Depression
There are so many places one can read about depression, and of course there are many well-meaning friends willing to offer opinions, as well as medical professionals who don’t have adequate training or the time to fully assess the mental illness and its treatment. I’ve selected the following sources to simplify an initial search so as not to overwhelm you before you start, for as you can imagine, there are scores and many are excellent. With a solid understanding, you are better able to ask questions and insist on answers when meeting with a medical professional.
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) – Depression (major depressive disorder or clinical depression)
Mayo Clinic – keep browsing through the links in the left column for information on the definition, symptoms, causes, risk factors, complications, tests and diagnosis, treatments and drugs, lifestyle and home remedies, alternative medicine, coping and support.
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – What is Depression?
Understand the Connection Between ACEs & the Risk of Depressive Disorders
You may not have heard of ACEs – which stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences – and in many instances referred to as childhood trauma. ACEs are traumatic or extremely stressful events occurring before age 18 and were identified in the CDC-Kaiser ACE Study. This short video, “ACEs Primer,” introduces you to ACEs and the ACE Study.
As you heard in the video, depression is one of the outcomes of having experienced ACEs. Quoting from this Study, “Adverse Childhood Experiences and the Risk of Depressive Disorder in Adulthood,” appearing in the Journal of Affective Disorders, “Adverse childhood experiences have a strong, graded relationship to the risk of lifetime and current depressive disorders that extends into adulthood.”
Additional research explains the reason for this connection between experiencing ACEs and subsequently depressive disorders (and a host of other physical or emotional health problems) that extend into adulthood is toxic stress. The Center for Youth Wellness explains the science.
Understand Typical Treatment Options
Because no two brains are alike, it stands to reason no two treatment protocols for depression will be alike. However, just as with any other disease, there are typical protocols for evidence-based treatment practices to treat depression. Again, sharing just a few of the many helpful resources to simplify this process, check out:
NIMH – Treatment and Therapies
Mayo Clinic – Treatment and Drugs
Find Support – Get Help
Often one of the best things a person can do is to find support from others who understand, who’ve been where they are now, or to seek information on treatment facility providers.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
SAMHSA Mental Health Treatment Facility Locator
Bottom Line
…there is a way to get help for your depression – even if you’ve tried everything. And if you are at your wits end, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 800-273-8255.
Lisa Frederiksen
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Thanks, Lisa, for providing information and resources to get help when suffering from depression. I agree with you…”…there is a way to get help for your depression – even if you’ve tried everything.” One must, however, take the first step. Bless you for sharing this!
Thank you for your comment, Alexandra – very much appreciated!!
Excellent article on depression, Lisa. Thank you for putting this in such an easy to understand way. I absolutely agree that one of the “best things a person can do is to find support from others who understand.”
Thank you, Robin – as you write, sometimes it’s that person who’s been there and knows just want to say to reach another whose struggling with similar issues.
Lisa, you make so many very important points about depression…and I think that the most important one was the last one you made. Because depression is so serious (and on the rise), that point of hope…”there is a way to get help for your depression – even if you’ve tried everything” will help so many people. I am definitely sharing your post.
Thank you so much, Sherie, and thank you for sharing this message. I really appreciate your help with spreading the word.
Another great article, Lisa. I agree with your statement: “Because no two brains are alike, it stands to reason no two treatment protocols for depression will be alike.” You touched an important consideration because not every technique works for everyone.
Thank you, Barbara. Hopefully this information can help someone with depression, or their loved one who’s worried about them, find the help they need.
I have to thank you Lisa. Thank you for talking and teaching. I think so many people suffer from depression because nobody is willing to talk about depression. We must get the depression conversation started. Only then will people suffering really believe they are not alone.
Thanks again!
Thank you, Olivia, and thank you for sharing your resource, as well!
Thanks so much for a great article Lisa! It’s so important to have these kinds of discussions so that depression get the attention it needs and in the right way for the individual… I agree with you that there is no “one size fits all” approach to dealing with these issues.
Thanks, Moira – I really appreciate you reading and adding your comment!
Hi Lisa,
Thank your for posting this article on depression. I know many people suffer from depression and need resources to help them find the solutions that will work for them. It is another topic that should be discussed openly, so that people do not feel ashamed. Any kind of stress can lead to drug and alcohol use to ease the pain. Wonderful information here.
Thank you, Cathy. You make an excellent point – “any kind of stress can lead to drug and alcohol use to ease the pain.” Let’s hope talking about this can lead to others to do the same – clinical depression is a brain changer and anything that changes the brain, changes behaviors. And the good news is that it’s possible to change the brain for health, too – which is why it’s so important people understand there is effective help out there.
Great insight. depression goes hand in hand with addiction and its such a common issue. I agree, there is no “one size fits all” fix for it either. Awesome post!
Thanks so much, Anita – really appreciate your comment!
Thanks for reading and adding your comment!
Good information about depression. It is often difficult to suggest help for someone who is obviously depressed because many times they do not see themselves as depressed. Just like drugs and alcohol affect the brain so does nutrition. Often getting a person on a healthy diet is very key in getting the brain functioning in a more positive way. Thanks for the article.
You raise a very good point, Pat! Nutrition (and aerobic exercise) are both excellent brain healers. Thanks for your comment!
I’ve had loved ones, Lisa, who were down as a result of an emotional issue, usually stemming from a loss of some sort. My question is: how do you decide it’s just a ‘time out’ to release sadness and allow for healing … versus actual depression that requires treatment?
Important point, Sharon.
Basically, clinical depression vs sadness is when one experiences a “depressed mood and/or loss of interest or pleasure in life activities for at least 2 weeks and at least five of the following symptoms that cause clinically significant impairment in social, work, or other important areas of functioning almost every day.” (DSM-IV) These symptoms include:
1. Depressed mood most of the day.
2. Diminished interest or pleasure in all or most activities.
3. Significant unintentional weight loss or gain.
4. Insomnia or sleeping too much.
5. Agitation or psychomotor retardation noticed by others.
6. Fatigue or loss of energy.
7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt.
8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.
9. Recurrent thoughts of death (APA, 2000, p. 356).
It’s especially important that readers understand that alcohol is also a depressant and thus a person who drinks heavily contributes to their having many of these symptoms – NOT saying that clinical depression is ruled out, rather it’s adding to the problem.
Thanks for the question, Sharon!
I’m not putting this down but when I say I’ve tried everything it includes all of these things. I’ve been through the medical and psychological channels and tried a nearly infinite number of lifestyle changes. Nothing has helped even a bit and I’ve been acutely depressed for nearly a decade which is a third of my life and therapy made me realize that I’ve always been depressed to some degree. In full honesty the only hi g I haven’t tried is suicide so basically I’m grinning and baring it until I can’t take it anymore. Short of a miracle, I’m out of options.
Hi Joe – I am so very sorry. I just revised this post to include the portion on ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences), aka childhood trauma. You may want to go back and read that portion as there’s a significant connection between experiencing ACEs and developing depression. If you’d like to talk with me (I am not a medical doctor, therapist, psychologist or medial professional, but I may be able to share research resources that might help), please send me an email at lisaf@breakingthecycles.com.