Today’s guest author, Jesse Sandler, LCSW, shares the five foundational behaviors he likes his clients to focus on while in the beginning stages of their recoveries — sleep, hygiene, exercise, intake, and social. Jesse is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy for people in addiction recovery. He works at a dual-diagnosis intensive outpatient program and has a small private practice in Los Angeles. Most recently, Jesse created MySoberRoommate.com, a new online community for sober people to find likeminded roommates. Aware of the role that one’s living environment plays in maintaining a clean lifestyle, and frustrated that his clients had nowhere to search for and connect with sober roommates, Jesse decided to make one. He believes that through hard work, commitment, and hope, people can and do get better. You can reach Jesse at jesse@mysoberroommate.com.

Your Recovery: The Five Pillars by Jesse Sandler, LCSW

Jesse Sandler, LCSW, founder of MySoberRoommate.com, shares his five pillars of recovery.

I am an addiction therapist. I work with people who’ve been addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn, you name it. It’s hard work to stay clean, and there is definitely no one-size-fits-all, magic solution that makes the challenges disappear. But, over the years, I have seen that people who focus on five key aspects of their lives tend to avoid relapse, be happier, and feel better. Because I view these five things as the foundation for maintaining a clean and healthy lifestyle, I have come to call them the Five Pillars. They are: (1) Sleep, (2) Hygiene, (3) Exercise, (4) Intake, and (5) Social.

Sleep well, stay well

Let’s start with sleep. You’re probably tired of hearing about how the average person needs six to eight hours of sleep a night, and about the negative health impacts of getting less. But beyond that, you may not realize that developing a good sleep routine, and getting enough sleep, can boost your mood and help keep you on track. In fact, research has shown that people who are sleep-deprived have a hard time recalling happy memories, but have no problem recalling negative ones. This means that if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re making it that much harder to feel good about yourself and your life. And, when you’re feeling more negative, your risk of relapse goes up. Because of this, I always tell my clients to establish consistent nighttime and morning routines, and to try to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. Starting your day feeling like you’re in control sets you up to feel good about yourself and positively impacts how you view the world.

Be clean, stay clean

The second pillar is hygiene. This one may seem pretty straightforward, but you might be surprised at how big an impact a shower and clean teeth can have on your outlook. Making sure you shower, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes, etc., and that you get into a routine of doing so, can help you feel fresh and ready to face the day. Also, a big component of self-esteem is believing you have the capacity to set goals and achieve them. Even if those goals are small, like brushing your teeth, accomplishing them can help you realize that you are capable of setting and reaching goals, and can propel you to strive for more.

Strong body, strong mind

Exercise is the third pillar of healthy living. By now, you probably already know that exercise releases endorphins, which improve your mood. And a better mood means you are more likely to make better choices, and to enjoy those choices. In addition, exercising on a regular basis can help you sleep better, relieve stress, and, like hygiene, get you into the habit of setting and accomplishing goals. What kind of exercise? Whatever kind you’ll keep doing. Experiment until you find something that works for you, then keep at it.

Your body is your temple

I use the word “intake”—the forth pillar—to describe anything you do or don’t put into your body. This means eating regularly, eating (at least relatively) well, drinking plenty of water, and, if your doctor has prescribed you medication, taking it as prescribed. It also, of course, means not putting drugs or alcohol in there. I also throw sunlight/nature under this pillar—make sure you get outside at least a few minutes every day. Doing so allows you to get your daily dose of Vitamin D, and spending time in nature lowers stress levels and can help make our moods more positive. So, wear sunscreen, but do take a little time to get some fresh air and see some nature—extra points for doing so while eating something healthy with a big glass of water.

Stick with the winners

The final pillar is being social. Humans are social beings, and we do better when we have support networks and interaction. Isolation, on the other hand, breeds addiction. Isolation leads to rumination, and rumination leads to bad feelings. Bad feelings lead to bad behaviors. Then the cycle begins again. But it’s not just about being with people; it’s about being with the right people. Surround yourself with people who are committed to living a clean, healthy lifestyle. People who support your choices. People who care about your well being. Going to meetings—AA, NA, SMART, or whatever feels good to you—is one great way to get social interaction with people who are committed to sobriety.

Conclusion

Maintaining sobriety takes work and commitment. Trying to build your recovery without a strong foundation would be like trying to build your house on quicksand. It may stand for a while, but eventually it will fall. Instead, build yours on solid ground—with a commitment to maintaining your pillars.

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