Parental Drinking | Children – They’re Watching…
Parental drinking – take note – your children are watching…
Parental Drinking – What’s the Big Deal?
I was on a neighborhood walk the other day and rounded the corner to see a dad and his two children approaching. One was still in a backpack, and the other was on one of those bicycle-type, 3-wheelers that have a handle extension so the parent can push while the child peddles. The dad was laughing and pretend-racing with the little boy on the 3-wheeler, who was squealing with delight, and the infant in the backpack was giggling as it bounced up and down with dad’s gait.
I smiled. I love seeing that kind of thing. And, then, as we were passing, saying hello, I noticed the dad’s can was not a soda but a beer. Now I am not opposed to parents drinking, but my first thought was, “Aw…no… not on a walk with your children.” For even though his were too young to know, now, they will.
More importantly, the subliminal message from dad is, “I need a beer to be around you guys,” which very likely is NOT what that dad was even remotely thinking. But drinking a beer in that sort of setting — when the purpose of the walk is for spending time with the kids — or in any number of other “child-centric” settings, for that matter, such as sports games, toddler birthday parties or picnics with the children — sends the message that having a drink is an important part of having fun. It becomes the “norm” for that child, who then grows into adolescence and might think having beers with friends is what your supposed to do to have fun. (“It’s what my dad does.”) If/when that child elects to start drinking, likely they will mirror their parent(s) drinking patterns which may or may not work with that particular child’s brain. In fact, social environment is one of the five key risk factors for developing addiction (whether it’s to drugs or alcohol).
To close… this post is not about not drinking nor never drinking in front of one’s children, rather it’s about making sure we adults stay within moderate drinking limits,* if we choose to drink; and it’s about being aware of the message our own drinking patterns send to our children. Sometimes it’s best to skip the alcohol when the gathering is a child-centric function (child’s b’day party or sports award event, for example), fter all, they’re watching… that’s what children do.
* Moderate drinking is defined as 7 standard drinks in a week, with no more than 3 of the 7 in a day for women, and 14 standard drinks in an week, with no more than 4 of the 14 in a day for men. A standard drink is defined as 12 ounces of regular beer, 5 ounces of wine, 1.5 ounces of 80-proof hard liquor (vodka, gin, scotch) and 8-9 ounces of lager.
Lisa Frederiksen
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