The Real Truth About Loving an Addict
The following is a guest post by Cathy Taughinbaugh of Treatment Talk.
“Love recognizes no barriers, it jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou
We often think about the people we love. I’ve been thinking about all of us who love an addict.
For us mothers, our babies were brought into this world, soft, cuddly with all the sweet smells of a new life. We saw our children through each stage of their development. Many opportunities were available to our new family member.
We loved our babies and cared for them. We were there, in the cheering section, encouraging our children on as they grew and matured.
We noticed their strengths and thought about what might be possible for their future. The idea that our children would grow up to be addicted to alcohol or drugs was not part of anyone’s plan.
Many children go on to lead rewarding lives. They excel in school, or do well enough. They find their passions and follow their dreams.
For some, addiction gets in the way and sends them down a detour on the road to a successful life. Most find it challenging, if not extremely difficult to get their lives back on track.
We parents are left living a life that we never expected, nor one that we had planned for. The pain, and the emotional exhaustion is not what we thought parenthood would bring.
Many of our children have or will find their way to recovery, and become better people. We, as well need to somehow lose our addiction to the addict. The disease takes its toll on everyone involved, but as time goes on we hopefully will find recovery.
The journey back requires hard work, discipline, focus and honest desire. The addicted ones may stumble and fall, but the strong find their way. They may go on to be of service to others with addiction, or they may just get on with their life. Either way, they never forget where they have been.
I believe people in recovery from any addiction appreciate every day and every aspect of their new life, as it has not been easy. Life is not taken for granted. It has been a struggle.
To those addicts in the family, especially when they are our children, we love you, we always have, and we always will. We may have let each other down at times, and our hearts may have been broken. None of our lives will ever be the same. This may not be the life we expected, but this is the life we have, and we have learned to embrace it.
We cherish our loved ones, and love them unconditionally. We won’t enable those with the disease of addiction, but we will not forget all they have to offer either.
No matter what the circumstances, there is always hope.
• Hope that the addict will recover.
• Hope that they will reach their potential.
• Hope that they will live their best life.
My wish for all of us is that our journey brings us to recovery, to serenity, to peace of mind.
Cathy Taughinbaugh is a former teacher and mother of a crystal meth addict who has been in recovery for over 5 years. She writes on addiction, recovery and treatment at Treatment Talk.
Lisa Frederiksen
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