Dating: Are They Hiding an Addiction?

By Guest Author |

When you are dating someone – is possible their drinking or drug use is an addiction? How can you tell?

Dating? How can you tell if their drinking or drug use may be an addiction?

The following is a guest post by Victoria Levine, an artist, poet, author and life coach. A loving mother of three, Victoria becomes most inspired when surrounded by nature. She is the author of Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing and writes the blog, Get Dating Insight. Victoria opens her post with one of her poems, “Secret World.”

 

How to Date: Are They Hiding an Addiction? by Victoria Levine

Secret World (poem)
Using you like a cushion to buffer a reality;
That they do not want to see;
Escaping to private segments in time to get their fix;
Caught up in a secret world of a drug enhanced mix;
Insecurity believes a devotion to drugs makes it smarter, faster, sexier and stronger;
Fooling others with lies will not last much longer;
When they wander;
Will make you ponder;
Substances are tricking their brain with false intelligence, only they cannot see this;
You only see the quality of life that they miss.

Addictive personalities first love is their substance of choice, you will never be their priority.  We are all different.  Some people are naturally high and can tap into that euphoric feeling with their personal being, without needing any kind of stimulant.  Others need to quiet their minds so they can relax and take the edge off.  They enjoy a cocktail, glass of wine or a couple hits off a joint.  Then there are those that live for excess.  They know there limit and take it right to the edge.  This is what works for them.

But when the edge gets crossed and these substances become the priority in their lives, we are then dealing with addiction.  You will never come first in a relationship where addiction is involved.  It is almost ceremonial to them and can feel very unnatural to be around.  Sometimes they try to hide it and it can take a while to figure out.

Signs That It May Be An Addiction

Are they always late for dates?  Do they disappear right before sex and in between sex, needing to go into the bathroom?  Is there a chemical taste when you kiss them?  Do they try to hide it with gum?  Do they become paranoid when you are out with them?  Do they always have random excuses to disappear for up to 30 minutes when you are at a party, dinner, movie or club?  And of course you offer to join them and they affirm that they will be right back!   Wow, what are they doing?  Well, it takes time to have a love affair with your addiction.  The ceremony must go just right.  Rolling the joint, putting a needle in their body, having a couple shots, chopping up cocaine or even running out to meet their dealer, all takes time.  Then, they come back happy and very attentive to you and all your needs, so you let it go.  But when the high wears off, they will be gone again.  If you ask why they took so long, they will create some kind of drama to take the attention of of them.

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