Who Really Pays the Price of Addiction?
Carolyn Hughes, Novelist, “The Hurt Healer,” writes about Addiction and Who Really Pays the Price
Addiction – who really pays the price?
The following is a guest post by Carolyn Hughes, a freelance writer with special interest in alcohol issues. Carolyn is currently writing The Hurt Healer, a novel based on her own experiences of abuse and alcoholism, and lives in Northern Ireland with her husband and their two daughters. She celebrates 13 years sobriety and says, “My proudest achievement is that my children have never seen me take alcohol or had to live with a drunken mother.” Carolyn can be reached at carolyn.hughes6@btinternet.com, and be sure to visit Carolyn’s blog, The Hurt Healer, to read more of her insightful posts. You may also wish to follow her on FaceBook.
Who Really Pays The Price of Addiction? by Carolyn Hughes
Alcohol and drug abuse impacts the daily lives of us all and it comes with a price. But who really pays?
The short answer is: ‘All of us!’ We may pay the price physically, emotionally and financially whether we are an addict ourselves, have a family member with a problem or are simply affected as a member of society due to the impact of addiction on things like, health care provision, emergency services or loss of work hours.
But is it just the addict that pays?
The assumption is always that the alcoholic or drug user suffers most and who has the most to lose. This is largely because the focus for both policy makers and the media is the full blown addict. The many different stages between using alcohol, becoming alcohol dependant and then addiction are often ignored which leads to conflicting misconceptions. Newspapers, radio and magazines and internet regularly report on substance misuse but there’s often a contradiction in the way the story is portrayed. An alcohol induced car crash involving an uneducated youth from poverty stricken neighbourhood mustn’t be condoned; whereas a similar incident caused by a well know female personality is almost acceptable due to the pressure of fame. So common addicts are a nuisance, but celebrity addicts are tolerated and in some cases, idolised.
The focus by the media on extremes though, distracts from the real and everyday problems caused by regular abuse for the individuals and their families. No matter who you are, or where you live or what standard of education you have, it is possible to make the shift from ‘social’ drinking to dependency. Thankfully, there is a growing awareness that it’s not just certain groups of people that can have issues with drink but that even those in power can too. Recently, a UK newspaper The Telegraph, revealed in an article that there was evidence that more members of the government were seeking help with addiction issues, because they reflected wider society. This is an important admission and helps to raise awareness and reduce stigma. If the people running the country need assistance then maybe it isn’t so bad for the rest of us to need help either!
However, there needs to be a lot more discussion about the issue of abuse and not just on the user. The policy makers and the media are in fact missing the point when it comes to addictions. Of course the addict requires help and long term treatment, and this can indeed be costly.
But the biggest price is paid by the families.
The short and long term problems for spouses, parents and children of addicts are immense. It’s not just about money, although financing a habit is always going to result in the family being short changed. It’s about the emotional impact on trust, self esteem, confidence, guilt and shame that occurs as a result of broken homes and broken lives.
Tim Pope of TLP Addiction Training is a substance misuse consultant and in his own story of hitting ‘Rock Bottom’, he makes the comment: “When someone says it looks like I had it rough, I usually think ‘not as tough as my family.’ This statement highlights the fact whilst things are difficult for the addict, they can be harder for the family members who have no control over the behaviour of their loved one or of the subsequent dire consequences for their lives.
Families they don’t just pay the price for the actions of the addict at the time either, they can go on suffering and the cycle of abuse can be repeated in the next generation. Children are very much ‘Monkey see. Monkey do.’ So witnessing a parent drinking heavily can result in them imitating the same behaviour in later life or using alcohol to self-medicate in order to cope with childhood trauma. And so the cycle continues.
Unfortunately, the government’s strategies in dealing with substance misuse issues are generally short sighted. They are led by the need to be popular with the voters now rather than looking at long term solutions. In the UK at the moment there is a debate as to whether welfare payments should be withheld if a claimant refuses treatment for addiction. It’s a way for the government to reassure the public that these people are not getting away with their drinking and drug use, and it reinforces the idea that addicts choose their behaviour. There is no discussion as to the hardship that their families will face through no fault of their own yet they are being blamed as much as the user.
Whatever way you look at it, everyone pays the price for addiction. But if the policy makers could shift their thinking and focus, we could all pay a lot less.
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Great insight into substance misuse. I agree that long term help is needed.
Thanks Maggie. Long term help really is the answer!
Interesting and insightful look at a painful subject. My immediate family was lucky to escape addiction issues – but recent years have brought both alcoholism and drug abuse to our door steps with close friends who have destroyed their lives. Thanks for the post!
Thank you Kay for your comments. Sadly, substance abuse is painful for all involved whether it is family or friends.
Thank you for the great insights. It is so true that the families pay. I can’t imagine how it would be to watch someone in my family deal with addiction. Thanks for all that you are doing to raise awareness.
Thank you for your encouragement Angela! Awareness is crucial if we are to move forward in the battle against addiction and the stigma for the families.
I agree too that long term help is needed and being a former addicted person, I also think that we need to change the way we think about addiction. Stop laying blame and refocus on what we need to do to educate…and your right..We are NOT talking short term here…we have to re-educate generations 🙂 Great post!
Thanks Anita! I totally agree that blaming achieves nothing and education (preferably by those who have experience of addition themselves or in their families) is key!
An interesting point of view about addiction, one that I had not heard before! There’s something new I learn every time I read your blog, thanks for opening my eyes, and hopefully your message gets across the decision makers.
Thanks Sherry! It’s great to have feedback from those who aren’t directly affected by addiction and I’m thrilled that you feel you learn from my blogs! I appreciate that!
Great post Carolyn! I agree with you that more needs to be done, and that there needs to be a shift away from laying blame to education and training. Everyone pays the way things are now, from the individual to their families, to society itself and something needs to change.
Thank you for your encouraging comments Helena! You’re right in that it is easy to point the finger at the individuals when what really needs to be done comes from collective responsibility to help things change.
Hi Carolyn,
The family is often overlooked as the addict enters treatment with the focus being on just the addict themselves. This may be the right thing to do, but it seems that there could be more of a support system for family members. I agree that there is a real lack of involvement, as least here in the states, with government officials. Drug education should be mandated to be taught in the schools on a regular basis, as well as other decisions that could be made that would benefit all of us in the long run. You are so right, we do all pay the price for addiction. Thanks for a great post!
Thank you Cathy for your great comments! There is definately a lack of involvement and education at all levels. Starting the process in schools would be sensible as children can be exposed to drugs at a frighteningly young age and very often parents are ignorant of even the most basic facts about available drugs and how to deal with it.
Great post, Carolyn. Support and education is so needed about substance abuse. There are so many misconceptions about it. Thanks so much for paving the way to educate everyone!
Thank you Lisa for the reply and encouragement! Substance abuse is going to continue to affect us all unless there is some clarity and planning to prevent the damage instead of always reacting to the problem.
Carolyn, I appreciated your post. Working with kids, it’s so easy for me to focus so much on the damage done to families that I often struggle with maintaining empathy for the addicted family member (usually a mother) and what that person is going through. It’s so hard to see kids hurting and exposed to such adult situations. Great insight.
Thanks Amy! You raise a good point abut kids being exposed to adult situations.Very often the children of addicts are forced to grow up too soon as their parents are unable to physically or emotionally care for their kids. Their childhood is stolen through no fault of their own and the sad thing is that they will think it they are too blame.
Carolyn – thank you so much for this marvelous post and to everyone who added their voice to the conversation. As you said, Carolyn – “Families they don’t just pay the price for the actions of the addict at the time either, they can go on suffering and the cycle of abuse can be repeated in the next generation. Children are very much ‘Monkey see. Monkey do.’ So witnessing a parent drinking heavily can result in them imitating the same behaviour in later life or using alcohol to self-medicate in order to cope with childhood trauma. And so the cycle continues.” The more we all talk about this and do what we can to raise awareness, change policies, enhance prevention programs in schools and the workplace, the better we can stop the cycle that repeats itself. A person is not born an alcoholic or drug addict – addiction is a developmental, chronic often relapsing brain disease. Three of the five key risk factors for developing the disease are childhood trauma, social environment and mental illness (anxiety, depression) — risk factors that are often developed in childhood, changing the brain during key developmental stages and thereby making the brain more susceptible to the brain changes caused by alcohol abuse if the person starts drinking heavily, which in turn can lead to alcoholism. It’s a viscous, viscous cycle. So thank you ALL for adding your voice to this important conversation!!!
Thanks Lisa! Let’s carry on breaking the cycles!
Great post Carolyn. I agree with you, the same as with smoking, there should me much more be done. The pain of those involved with a person, who is addicted is huge. Thanks for doing such a great job!
Thank you for your kind comments Solvita! You are so right in that addiction is truly painful for those involved and much change is needed.
the family does pay the price and if you have children they pay such a big price for it. A Very sad thing I face in my practice.
Thanks for your comments Barbara. As a relationship expert I’m sure you’ve had a lot of experience of families dealing with addiction issues and it’s never good.
Net net, everyone pays. Society pays through breakdown of the family structure. Business pays through less-than-optimal productivity from employees. Families pay through everything mentioned in this article … etc., etc. Disgracefully, like so many other critical issues facing us these days, nothing gets addressed responsibly and comprehensively. Bandaid solutions are put in place, holding on the best they can, but anything more than that gets “kicked further down the road.”
Thank you Sharon for such forthright and insightful comments. You’ve hit the nail right on the head in using the term ‘bandaid solutions’ because that’s exactly what they are – a quick fix to hide the real problems.