“ADDICTION” – Poem by Erik Zack
The following is a poem and guest post by Erik Zack, who has had his own negative experiences and outcomes as a consequence of addict-related behavior, including time in jail where he completed a drug education program. Erik is now working hard on his recovery from heroin addiction and wanted to share his poem as a means of reaching other addicts and their families to remind them there is hope for a different, drug-free life.
ADDICTION
By Erik Zack
Mother’s Day 2012
Addiction’s been close on both sides of my family,
the struggle, the hurt, the pain and the tragedy.
The friends that I’ve shunned, do they hate or they mad at me?
The affliction of addiction is death, it ain’t flattering.
It’s non-discriminate even killing beauty queens in tiaras in pageantries.
It’ll knock on your door, it don’t care if you live lavishly.
The truth to it all is children die and they fall.
Wise men fuck up and get trapped behind walls.
I thought I was wise, my mind churned out knowledge like pistons
but I find myself in the slums listening to crackheads nonstop bitch’n.
Is this even the truth or is it nothing but fiction?
I wish I had the power to stomp out fucking addiction!
The blisters the scabs, suffering and the sorrow
a knife to my throat, is there a better tomorrow?
I can’t get away: it’s just danger and fear,
it’s the first hit you didn’t wanna take
it’s the pressure from peers
It’s the salty saline running down your cheeks known as tears.
It’s the mother who lost her twins and I’ve aged beyond years.
It’s me never being sorry, drowning my sorrys in beers.
But it would probably kill my mother to know all my nears.
Near death, near O.D. near robbing this fool
But I can’t stop this disease I’m just a slave to its rule.
I run through your life
sparked like a match that hit friction.
I wish I had the power to stomp out fucking addiction!
With effort and time, hard work and dedication
The shit in the song’s no longer what I’ll be facing.
A family, some kids, euphoria and elation.
A job that I work, it’s success that I’m taste’n.
I’m sick of sitting in the wind like a skeleton that’s waste’n.
I’ll stare sobriety in the eyes cause being clean is the hardest thing I’m facing.
Someday I’ll be clean like my aunt’s 25 years.
She’s got knowledge and wisdom and
With Knowledge comes the power to stomp out the fucking addiction.
He is a phenomenal writer.
Yes he is, and it’s wonderful of him to share his experiences, strength and hope.
A very powerful expression from Erik. Facing your addition is the first step …. He is beginning to deal with his demons. I am very proud of you Erik
Erik, Wonderful poem. It sort of takes my breath away that you were able to so succinctly write about the process. Keep moving forward Erik! xoxo Robyn
Erik, this had me in tears. Brilliantly raw energy! It took me straight back to the early days of my recovery where I kicked and screamed my way through the initial stages of rehab. How I hated addiction! But your writing shows awareness, strength and courage in bucket loads so keep on trying Erik even if like me you have to fight every step of the way.
Keep strong and keep on writing 🙂
Like his mother, he has a true gift of prose. Good for you Eric! Stay Strong!
As another mother whose son is also struggling, I sat in stunned silent after reading this poem. After knowing the hell of what addiction does to those we love, it’s a gift to also see the talent, caring and love that is fighting to win and still endures. My heart aches for you, my son, all the other addicts and all those around the addict struggling against the shame, stigma, sorrow, pain and hell of addiction. For a mother, your poem was a gift. A gift in knowing the son is still there–still smart–still loving — still caring–still talented–still fighting–still the son always loved. That is a gift. Thank you Erik for writing this and sharing it. Stay strong Erik and keep writing.
It has taken me two weeks to be able to respond to this. I have know this baby since he was born and I am so proud of him. He has come a long way and I hope that he will make it back.
Erik, your words are beautiful and heartfelt. Keep at it, writing may be your calling. I’m very proud of you.
Erik, you are such a beautiful writer and I know how deep in your heart this is coming from. Keep writing, keep working hard to continue to get better and know that every day is a new day….so proud of you!
Power to you, Erik. Your fine mind can keep you in a good place.
Very powerful poem and inspirational to say the least. With all of your true talents, you will move on to not only beat addiction but be very successful in life!
Wow, Erik! You will make it. You’ve inherited your mother’s toughness, it seems to me.
I’m sorry I didn’t remark sooner to this wonderful writing. I believe the email got lost in the hundred emails I get a day. You keep up the good work.