Insights for those wanting to better understand the concept of adult children of alcoholics.

Rita Malie is an adult child of an alcoholic and shares her experiences in her latest novel, Supreme Sacrifice: A Woman’s Journey From The Bondage of Guilt to the Freedom of Forgiveness

The following is my interview with award-winning author, Rita Malie, whose most recent novel is titled:  Supreme Sacrifice: A Woman’s Journey From The Bondage of Guilt to the Freedom of Forgiveness. I’ve so enjoyed getting to know Rita and following her work. She is an inspiration to those who love or have lived with a parent who has the brain disease of alcoholism, and she provides important insights for those wanting to better understand the concept, “Adult Children of Alcoholics.”

1.     Please introduce yourself for readers who don’t know you?
Rita:  I grew up in Youngstown, Ohio, and worked in health care administration for over thirty years. My writing career began in high school after publishing a poem in Songs of Youth. I was editor of my high school newspaper and am published in a clinical trade journal.  In 2001, I traveled on a European cruise on the Danube River, visiting Slovakia, which is the homeland of my grandparents. The cruise inspired me to write my mother’s memoir, Goodbye America, which received four first place Royal Palm Awards. Goodbye America has been displayed and sold in the Ellis Island Immigration Museum since its 2007 release. I returned to the Slovak Republic July 2011, where I presented my book and toured the country as a guest of the American Embassy. Goodbye America is now used in the Slovak school system for children learning to read English.              

The legacy of growing up in an alcoholic home inspired me to write my second novel, Supreme Sacrifice, to help others overcome and prevent the ghosts of the past to influence the present and future.  I received the 2008 Promoting Outstanding Writers Award for Unpublished Family Saga.

I am an active member of the Florida Writers Association and the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and live in Florida with my family.

2.     Can you please describe your book, Supreme Sacrifice?
Rita:  Supreme Sacrifice is a story of a young woman’s journey of self-discovery and the power of forgiveness when her life is turned upside down at the death of her father in a mysterious car crash. A family is torn apart and brought to the depths of despair, first by a father’s alcoholism, and later by his tragic death.  It’s a story about family love, tragedy, mystery, the many routes we follow in a single life and the random nature of destiny.

The story spans three decades and begins in a steel mill town in the Midwest during the height of unionism in the 1960s and follows the life of April Straka, the pride and joy of her father, Josef, a first generation American once a successful businessman at the top of his game. It can best be conceptualized as Death of a Salesman meets Eat Pray Love. Similar to Death of a Salesman, April’s father, Josef, like Willy Loman, has spent a lifetime pursuing success only to find himself a victim and an alcoholic failure at 47.  April is traumatized by his death and is plagued with nightmares. Years later she moves to the deep South, where she embarks on a spiritual journey reminiscent of Eat Pray Love. She ultimately finds peace as she gains the wisdom, learning to tap the power and strength from within, by changing how she sees her past, forgiving others and finally forgiving herself.

3.     What inspired you to write this book?
Rita:  The legacy of growing up in an alcoholic home was the inspiration to help others learn to confront, overcome and prevent their fears, pain and ghosts of the past to influence their present and future. My hope was that April’s story would be a guidepost to offer insights, new markers and understanding to others as to how they might also have lost their way. My hope was that my story would inspire readers that it’s how you bounce back from your lowest point that makes you what you are, and that suffering can eventually lead to positive change, growth and success. I had a need to bring about wholeness and healing in myself. Seeking wholeness in oneself can serve the wholeness of others. I wrote this not so much to cause people to know things in their heads, but to affect change in their hearts. I believe the heart is where the most potential for change lies. It’s through our stories that touch our heart and makes us human.

4.     What can readers hope to gain from your book?
Rita: That even if they’ve grown up in a dysfunctional home dealing with addiction/ alcoholism, they still do have choices whether they go into therapy, suppress bad memories, or choose to write it down as I have. They too can learn how to tap the power and strength from within by changing how they see their past, forgiving others and themselves.

5.     What advice can you offer children (young or adult) struggling with a parent’s alcoholism, and what can they do to help, if anything?
Rita:  For children: Take Care of Yourself. As for steps you can take to make things better for yourself even though you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using, include:

• Talk to a caring adult. There are many adults who will listen and help you deal with problems at home, even when it seems no one has noticed.
• Families with alcohol or drug problems often try to keep it a secret. It is important to find caring adults who can help you. Talking to them really helps, and it is not being disloyal to your family if you seek help for yourself. If you don’t get the help you need from the first person you approach, it is important to reach out to another adult you can trust.
• Get involved in youth programs.  Join in activities offered through your church or synagogue, your school’s extracurricular programs, or your community recreational departments.
• Join a support group. Many schools have assistance programs that offer support groups for students who are living with alcohol or drug abuse in their families.
• Alateen is for you. Alateen (1-888-425-2666)is a group for teens who are affected by someone else’s alcohol or drug use. It holds meetings.
• This and other information available from SAMHSA Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration  SAMHSA Helpline for Alcohol and Drug Information, 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

6.     You write a blog, as well. What is that link, and what do you hope it will do for followers?
Rita: My blog’s url is mailto:ritamalie@authorsxpress.com. It’s a personal diary and a collection of my private thoughts and information I have learned and experienced as an adult child of an alcoholic relating to my book, Supreme Sacrifice. Some of my blog post titles, include: Is Alcoholism a Disease?, What is Spirituality?, A Daughter’s Love for her Alcoholic Father, Alcohol-Other Victims-Other Problems, What is an Alcoholic’s Greatest Ally, Empowerment.

7. How can readers purchase your book?
Rita: Supreme Sacrifce is available in soft cover or e-book through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Balboa Press, or from my website www.ritamalie.com.

Thank you so much, Rita, for this interview. It is wonderful of you to share your experiences, strength and hope. Rita can be reached at rmalie@lslink.com.

Rita mentioned Al-ateen – there is also Al-Anon for adults. Here is the link to the Al-Anon Family Groups website where you can find answers about the program, as well as meetings in your area. Please visit the National Association of Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) website, as well.

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