Alcohol Abuse | Drug Abuse – Is a Family Member or Friend’s Substance Abuse Ruining Your Holidays?
Alcohol Abuse | Drug Abuse – insane making behaviors – what can a family member or friend do to help?
Alcohol abuse | drug abuse – Tis the season, I’m afraid.
Based on the outreach I receive from Thanksgiving through the New Year, year after year, the holidays are often the time when family members and friends have extended periods of time with a loved one who abuses drugs or alcohol. This means extended periods of time with their loved one’s drinking or drug use behaviors. These behaviors include: insane circular arguments, fights, verbal/physical or emotional abuse, DUIs, blackouts, rambling expressions of love followed by abusive criticism, as examples. This means family members and friends are experiencing extended periods of secondhand drinking.
Angry, frustrated, sickened, scared and desperate for a relief from the insanity, they often turn to the internet in search of answers. And likely, they are overwhelmed with what surfaces, which can leave them feeling even more angry, frustrated, sickened, scared and desperate for relief.
So what can someone do to stop the insanity for themselves, their families, their friend?
Alcohol Abuse, Drug Abuse and Addiction – Understanding the Differences to Start
Below, I provide a first-things-first list that you may find helpful. Be sure to click through to the links as they take you to resources providing additional information:
1. Understand that all drugs and alcohol change the way the brain works. These changes are what cause a person to engage in drinking or drug use behaviors.
- Drugs, Brains and Behavior: The Science of Addiction
- Why BAC Keeps Rising After a Person Stops Drinking
- Prescription Drugs: What’s the Big Deal
2. Understand that addiction (whether it’s to drugs or alcohol) is not alcohol abuse or drug abuse. Addiction is a chronic, often relapsing brain disease.
Addiction is a developmental disease that starts with substance abuse, which is what chemically and structurally changes the brain. These brain changes make a person more vulnerable to their risk factors. The five key risk factors for developing addiction are: genetics, social environment, childhood trauma, early use and mental illness. Several of these risk factors also change the brain’s circuitry (mental illness, childhood trauma and genetics, as examples).
- Understanding Addiction
- How Much is Too Much? “At-Risk” Drinking Patterns Explained
- Alcoholism is a Disease and It’s Not Alcohol Abuse
- Crossing The Line From Alcohol Use to Abuse to Dependence
3. Understand that treating addiction is different than treating alcohol abuse or drug abuse.
Treating addiction requires doing whatever it takes to heal the brain, the first step for which is total abstinence from all use of one’s substance.
Alcohol or drug abuse, on the other hand, does chemically and structurally change the brain (which is what makes a person behave the way they do when drunk or under the influence of their drug of choice), but a person who abuses a substance but is not addicted to it can learn to “re-drink.” In the case of drugs, the only issue I address in terms of learning to “re-drug” is prescription medications (see above link).
- Rehab – 28-Day Residential Treatment – What More Could You Want?
- NIAAA Rethinking Drinking
- First Things First – When Recovery Feels Overwhelmingly Difficult, Keep It Simple
4. Find help specific to your needs as a family member or friend.
- Behind Every Alcoholic or Drug Addict is a Family Member or Two or Three
- The Dance of the Family Disease of Alcoholism
- Family Disease/Recovery – NCADD
I know from personal experience how difficult it is to love someone who abuses and/or is addicted to substances. I hope these initial steps can help. Please feel free to contact me directly by email at lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com or phone at 650-362-3026.
Lisa Frederiksen
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