Unless you’ve been a child in a home with untreated, unhealthily discussed alcohol (or drug) misuse or addiction, it’s difficult to image what it’s like to be a child in such a home.

Devastating. Scary. Shame-filled. Life-robbing. Lonely. Isolating. It’s a set-up for a “rest of your life” that NONE of us would ever wish on a child. It’s one of the most distressing examples of secondhand drinking and affects millions of children worldwide who struggle to cope with a parent’s changed behaviors — the drinking or drugging behaviors their parent exhibits when the chemicals in alcohol (or drugs) changes brain functioning.

Fortunately, there is an international joint effort to raise awareness about these children, and though they work year-round, annually they focus their efforts around Children of Alcoholics Week.

Joint Press Release: The hidden human rights crisis

To conclude this year’s week-long celebration, IOGT International, Nacoa UK, NACoA (USA) & Active Sobriety, Friendship and Peace issued a joint press release, “The Hidden Human Rights Crisis,” on February 13, 2015, to call “for stronger efforts to not leave children of alcoholics isolated and alone.”

 “Children of Alcoholics are all too often silently suffering because their needs are rarely part of the political or public discourse – and that is nothing less than a Human Rights crisis,” said Kristina Sperkova, President of IOGT International, in this press release.

Quoting some of the statistics from the release:

“In Australia between 17 to 34% (ca. 1 million children) live in households with at least one adult being addicted.

“There are an estimated 26 million Children of Alcoholics (CoAs) in the USA. This translates to 1 in 4 American children.

“In the European Union, there are at least 9 million children and young people growing up with alcohol-addicted parents. Nacoa UK’s research estimates that there are 2.6 million children of school age living with parental alcohol problems in the UK alone.

What Can We All Do to Help Children of Alcoholics

1.  Help them understand their parent’s behaviors change because they drink – not because of anything they (the children) do or don’t do.

2.  Assure them they cannot do anything – not get good grades, not be super good or nice, not take care of their younger sibling, nothing – to make their parent stop drinking nor stop the behaviors they (their parents) exhibit when they drink (yelling, belittling, passing out, hitting, being confusingly nice or loving…).

3.  Help them understand that once their mom has had 3 drinks (and show them what a drink is) or their dad has had 4, the alcohol will most likely change their parent’s brain works and thus their behaviors. This change is caused by alcohol “sitting in the brain” waiting to be metabolized by the liver. [It takes the liver about one hour to metabolize one drink.] Brainstorm what they can do to keep themselves safe when this happens – quietly going to their room, for example.

4.  Assure them they are not alone – let them know that out of four children they know, one is also experiencing living in a family with alcohol abuse or alcoholism.

5.  Share this link from TeensHealth, Coping With an Alcoholic Parent.

6.  If you are a teacher, general practitioner or pediatrician – talk to your students or patients about secondhand drinking as a concept, in a manner that shares what happens when a person drinks too much – it may be the lead into a conversation a child needs in order to share what’s happening in their home.

Additional Articles on the Impacts of Secondhand Drinking on Children

• “What Happens to the Family When Addiction Becomes Part of It?”
• Recovery and Mental Health | Time for a Tune Up
• Secondhand Drinking Prevention
• Shatter the Shame of Addiction
• The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACEs Study) – the largest, most important study you’ve never heard of – began in an obesity clinic

© 2015 Lisa Frederiksen

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Lisa Frederiksen

Author | Speaker | Consultant | Founder at BreakingTheCycles.com

Lisa Frederiksen is the author of hundreds of articles and 12 books, including her latest, "10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What you really need to know when your loved one drinks too much,” and "Loved One In Treatment? Now What!” She is a national keynote speaker with over 30 years speaking experience, consultant and founder of BreakingTheCycles.com. Lisa has spent the last 19+ years studying and simplifying breakthrough research on the brain, substance use and other mental health disorders, secondhand drinking, toxic stress, trauma/ACEs and related topics.

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