Like Bipolar, Like Alcoholism – both wreck havoc in people’s lives – the person with the disorder and those who love them. Why? Generally because of the stigma and shame as a consequence of the belief that people develop these diseases due to a lack of willpower and continue in their diseases because they don’t care enough to get the help they need. Today’s guest author, Regina Eversole, shares her story in order to help others better understand both bipolar and alcoholism are brain diseases, and as such, both need treatment. Regina is the HR Director for Change Addiction Now, United We Can – a nonprofit bringing the family voice to addiction and recovery. Regina invites you to email her at ReginaE@ChangeaAddictionNow.org. You can follow Change Addiction Now on Facebook.

Like Bipolar, Like Alcoholism – The Intertwining of Diseases between a Mother and a Daughter – by Regina Eversole

During a class while attending college, my Professor gave a lecture on, “What you were when you were 10 years old.” This phrase stuck with me over the years because at 10 years old I remember being sad, confused, angry, abandoned, and yes, even happy. You see when I was 10 years old, my family’s lives would forever be changed, for that was the year my mother was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I would spend the next several decades trying to accept and understand this. I eventually learned acceptance and understanding, loving and forgiveness over the ensuing years. For when I was able to accept my mother’s illness, I was finally able to understand my own.

Living in the 60’s and 70’s mental illness was much like living with substance disorder today. There was stigma and shame and you lived in silence. There were times I was so confused about what was happening with my mother’s illness and there were other times that I was so angry. At the time of my mom’s diagnosis, it was believed that it was triggered by her taking diet pills, which in turn caused me and my family to blame my mother for her illness. We believed that if she had not taken those pills she would not have gotten sick. Needless to say we learned over the years that just was not the case. Like substance use disorder (SUD), there are various reasons that could of triggered her illness – including genetics – reasons that were just the catalyst for the manifestations of the mental disorder she was already suffering. However, just like today we wanted something to blame for our hurt and fears, it was easier to blame my Mom than accepting that fact that she was sick and needed help.

My mother’s illness brought about shame, embarrassment, financial ruin and hurt to our family (ever how misplaced that was, it is what happened). However, it wasn’t until later in my teens that I started to realized this not only affected our family, but it affected my Mom. She was the one living with this illness. Growing up there were so many times that I was so angry by my mom’s behavior when she was going through one of her episodes. Like SUD and relapses, we experienced this with my Mom. At times she would take her medication and be fine, and then she would go off her medications and the cycle would continue. “Why won’t she just stay on her medicine?” we’d think. It made no sense – not until we became better educated and learned that even on medication those suffering with bipolar can still have episodes of manic and depression. Their disease “tells” them they don’t have a disease (sound familiar?). Eventually, the doctors would adjust her medication and everything would level out and she would be fine again. However, this was a never ending cycle, and it would get exhausting. Sometimes it was so hard to see my Mom through her illness.

Like Bipolar, Like Alcoholism. Guest Author Regina Eversole with her mother on her wedding day. Her mother was 10 years into her disease and she was just starting hers. “This is what Bipolar and Alcoholism looked like in 1979,” says Regina.

That is when I decided nothing was ever going to have a hold on me like my Mom’s illness had on her! Boy, did I get a rude awakening. As a teenager I did anything to escape what was going on at home. I joined sports, I spent a lot of time with friends and became very social. I would go to parties and that’s where the drinking started. Not a big deal, right? All kids do it. Well, for me it was a big deal, because I found that when I drank I didn’t have all those feelings that I had to deal with when I was faced with all those issues at home. Still at this time I didn’t realize what was happening to me until it was too late. By that time the disease of addiction had developed and my decision making was all messed up. So before I knew it, my illness had caused my family shame, embarrassment, financial ruin and hurt. Everything that years earlier I said would never happen to me, did.

Finally at age 40, I was able to face my addiction and start the recovery process. This was the time that everything that my Mother had gone through started really making sense to me. For the first time since that little girl of 10, I started really understanding my Mom and her illness. I was finally able to see her for HER and not her illness (unfortunately Mom had passed away a year before). My Mom never let her illness define her. She was one of the kindest, compassionate, loving and strongest individuals I have ever known. She help me realize that I was more than my disease, and that I too could be the person I was always meant to be. This is where understanding my Mom’s illness helped me with my recovery. She suffered tremendously at the hand of her disease, yet she kept fighting until the day she died with her head held high and love in her heart. So will I.

Today when someone says to me that “you are just like your mother,” I take it as the highest compliment that I could ever receive. I am 56 years old now and have been in solid recovery from alcoholism for over 16 years. I am a loving, compassionate, creative and strong woman, and I am my Mother’s daughter!

For Help with Bipolar or Alcoholism

As host of BreakingTheCycles.com, I (Lisa) wanted to share an excellent resource that can direct you to the help you may need if you have Bipolar Disorder or Alcoholism.

It is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Agency (SAMHSA) website. But first, let me share NIDA’s  Principles of Effective Treatment for those looking for treatment for alcoholism or a co-occurring disorder (co-occurring means to have both a substance abuse and a mental health disorder). This an important read because there is no one treatment that works for everyone. This document can help you evaluate a potential treatment program to see if it will meet your treatment needs.

Once you enter an address, city or zip code in the search bar, the image above appears in the upper right corner of a map screen.

Now back to SAMHSA – start at this link, Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator. When you enter your address, city or zip code in the search box, the image to the right appears in the upper right corner of a map screen. This is where you will start to narrow your search. Is there a particular state or city or distance you want to stay within? Are you looking for substance abuse or mental health or both types of service and/or any other of the boxes listed there? [Note: SA & MH means you’re looking for co-occurring disorders treatment. When you make your selection of SA or MH or SA & MH, a drop down menu appears that gives you all sorts of additional options.

And now you have a custom search that can help you find the treatment you need.

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