Time and again, the calls, emails and blog post comments I receive are centered around the difficulty the person has experienced in finding help for a drinking problem, whether it’s their own or a loved one’s. And it is often this time of year, after a holiday season filled with work, social and family gatherings in which heavy drinking is big part of the celebrations, that people are combing the Internet for answers.

KEY REASONS FINDING HELP FOR A DRINKING PROBLEM IS DIFFICULT

Based on my 15+ years working in this field, I’ve identified the following four key reasons people have so much difficulty finding help for a drinking problem.

Not Understanding the Label Doesn’t Matter

Stopping an unhealthy drinking pattern early can prevent an even bigger problem, later.

Time and again people write, call or comment on a blog post to share the things their drinking loved one has or hasn’t done, such as hiding bottles, breaking promises, getting a DUI, driving the kids while drinking, passing out, ruining the holiday meal by being loud and belligerent, etc.  [If you read through the comments on these three posts of mine, “Detach. Detach With Love. You’ve Got to Be Kidding!,” “Fears for Children When Divorcing an Alcoholic,” and “Hidden Half-Empty Bottles – Should I Dump Them Out or ???,” you’ll see what I mean.]

Over the course of my exchanges with these people, they’ll push for a label, asking me, “Is s/he an alcoholic?”or they’ll proclaim their loved one can’t be an alcoholic because “She doesn’t drink everyday” | “He only drinks on the week-ends.”| “He goes to work everyday.”  They want a hard and fast answer because they want me to tell them how to fix it. And I get it. I was there myself on many, many occasions as I struggled to “make” a loved one stop drinking so much during the four-plus decades in which I dealt with secondhand drinking. But as I explain to them, I’m not qualified to diagnose them or their loved one. Only a medical professional trained in addiction medicine can do that. But I can share the latest research that explains it’s not the label: alcoholic* or alcohol abuser* or binge drinker that matters, it’s the simple answer to these two questions: “Do they exceed the low-risk drinking patterns suggested by the NIAAA?,” and “Do their behaviors change when they drink?” If their answer is, “Yes,” then drinking is likely a problem because the ethyl chemical in alcoholic beverages changes how the brain works, which in turn changes a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This leads to reason #2…

Not Understanding the Basics of How the Brain Works

New Imaging Technologies help explain how the brain works and how the ethyl alcohol chemicals in alcoholic beverages can change brain health and function.

Unless you understand the basics of how the brain works, it’s difficult to understand, let alone appreciate, how the ethyl alcohol chemical in alcoholic beverages chemically and structurally changes the way it works, which in turn changes the way brain cells communicate with one another, which in turn changes a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These changed thoughts, feelings, and behaviors typically aren’t the “real” person coming out, unless that’s how they think, feel, and behave when sober. Rather they are the changes caused by interrupting the brain’s normal neural network functioning.

For some of the scientific concepts to counter this reason, please check out Here’s to Neural Networks! and Understand Brain Maps | Change a Habit | Change Your Life

Not Understanding the Majority of People with a Drinking Problem are not Alcoholics*

This is often a surprise to people. It’s also a relief. In fact, according to the CDC, “Most people who drink excessively are not alcoholics or alcohol dependent.” (Source: CDC’s Alcohol Use and Your Health Fact Sheet accessed 1.8.18.).

Further, according to the CDC as reported in their Alcohol Use and Your Health Fact Sheet accessed 1.8.18,

Excessive drinking includes binge drinking, heavy drinking, and any drinking by pregnant women or people younger than age 21.

Binge drinking, the most common form of excessive drinking, is defined as consuming

• For women, 4 or more [standard] drinks during a single occasion.
• For men, 5 or more [standard] drinks during a single occasion.

A standard drink contains 0.6 ounces (14.0 grams or 1.2 tablespoons) of pure alcohol. Generally, this amount of pure alcohol is found in

• 12-ounces of beer (5% alcohol content).
• 8-ounces of malt liquor (7% alcohol content).
• 5-ounces of wine (12% alcohol content).
• 1.5-ounces of 80-proof (40% alcohol content) distilled spirits or liquor (e.g., gin, rum, vodka, whiskey).⁴

Heavy drinking is defined as consuming

• For women, 8 or more [standard] drinks per week.
• For men, 15 or more [standard] drinks per week.

Not Realizing Your Doctor Is Likely Not Trained to Identify or Treat Alcohol Use Disorders*

David Sheff wrote in his May 8, 2017 article on PsychologyToday.com, “Sobering Truth About Addiction Treatment in America,” “A recent ASAM survey of two thirds of U.S. medical schools found that they require an average of less than an hour of training in addiction treatment.” As such, talking to your primary care doctor will likely prove less than satisfactory in getting the answers you need for finding help with a drinking problem. But the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism offers a new tool…

Finding help for a drinking problem just got easier with NIAAA’s Alcohol Treatment Navigator.

There is SO MUCH great information on this new website. For example: How to Spot Quality Treatment provides key criteria you’ll want to find in a treatment provider’s program, and How to Search and What to Ask gives you specifics for narrowing your search decision. Search for Addiction Therapists and Search for Addiction Doctors can help you find specialists trained in helping people with a drinking problem (as well as their families).

Note: About the Terms Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse | Alcoholic and Alcohol Abuser, please read my recent post, “About the Terms Alcohol Abuse | Alcoholism | Alcohol Use Disorder.”

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©2018 Lisa Frederiksen. Reviewed January 2020.

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Lisa Frederiksen

Author | Speaker | Consultant | Founder at BreakingTheCycles.com

Lisa Frederiksen is the author of hundreds of articles and 12 books, including her latest, "10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What you really need to know when your loved one drinks too much,” and "Loved One In Treatment? Now What!” She is a national keynote speaker with over 30 years speaking experience, consultant and founder of BreakingTheCycles.com. Lisa has spent the last 19+ years studying and simplifying breakthrough research on the brain, substance use and other mental health disorders, secondhand drinking, toxic stress, trauma/ACEs and related topics.

Latest posts by Lisa Frederiksen (see all)

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