“Do you know of any children’s books to help talk about trauma | ACEs?” asked one of the attendees at a recent presentation I gave. It was titled, Building Resilience Through Understanding Substance Use Disorder and It’s Impacts on Others. It was one in a series of three talks I’m giving on this topic. In this case it was for the San Joaquin County Office of Education and the San Joaquin County Children’s Services Coordinating Commission.

I was invited to give this 3.5 hour presentation based on an article I’d written for Adult Children of Addiction Week, 2017. It was the science that explains the neurobiology of Substance Use Disorders and its toxic-stress connection with ACEs and SHD (secondhand drinking | secondhand drugging) that led to this invitation to present. And based on the feedback I’ve received, it really resonated with the 200 attendees who represented foster care, criminal and juvenile justice, early childhood education, parents wanting custody after incarceration or addiction treatment, probation, mental and public health services, school districts, treatment centers, and the like.

Using children’s books to help talk about trauma | ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) can help children understand they are not alone. It can provide an opening for conversations with a trusted adult about what they’ve gone through. And from there, that trusted adult can help the child build their resilience. ACEs do not have to win!

I’d not looked into books that could be read to children to help with the difficult conversations about childhood trauma | ACEs before, but as a mom who used books to help my daughters understand other difficult issues, like divorce, for example, I thought, “What a great idea!”

It’s so important children understand they are not the cause of the trauma | ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) that happened to them. As for why, check out my post for ACE’s Connection, “The Developing Brain and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).”

Children’s Books to Help Talk About Trauma | ACEs

Below please find titles and descriptions of several. There are many, many more, but this can help you get started. And to be clear, all of the book descriptions are taken from their Amazon listing.

Speranza’s Sweater by Marcy Pusey

Kids deserve a safe place to live and grow and learn. For some kids, this means living with foster or adoptive parents. Speranza’s Sweater chronicles one child’s experience through the foster and adoptive system. 

Speranza wears her sweater everywhere, hanging onto the last memories of her birth home, until it’s threadbare. Like her unraveled sweater, Speranza must weave together a new story, bringing threads from her past and strands from her present, into a future of love, family, and the true meaning of home.  

The Memory Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland

“I’m scared I’ll forget you…”

From the perspective of a young child, Joanna Rowland artfully describes what it is like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. Heartfelt and comforting, The Memory Boxwill help children and adults talk about this very difficult topic together.  

Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care by Jennifer Wilgocki

For many children in foster care, the answer to many questions is often maybe. Maybe Days is a straightforward look at the issues of foster care, the questions that children ask, and the feelings that they confront. A primer for children going into foster care, the book also explains in children’s terms the responsibilities of everyone involved – parents, social workers, lawyers and judges. As for the children themselves, their job is to be a kid – and there’s no maybe about that.  Click here to buy

Healing Days: A Guide for Kids Who Have Experienced Trauma by Susan Farber Strauss

Healing Days is a book designed to be used in therapy for young children and functions as an excellent resource for those who have experienced physical or sexual abuse, or other trauma. Readers will follow four children as they learn ways to cope with their own trauma. Sensitive, empowering, and beautifully illustrated, the book models therapeutic coping responses and provides children with tools they may use to deal with their own trauma.  

Please Tell: A Child’s Story About Sexual Abuse (Early Steps) by Jessie

Written and illustrated by a girl who was sexually molested by a family member, this book reaches out to other children by carrying Jessie’s message “It’s o.k. to tell; help can come when you tell.”   

The Day My Daddy Lost His Temper: Empowering Kids That Have Witnessed Domestic Violence (The Empowering Kids Series) by Dr. Carol Santana McCleary PsyD

The Empowering Kids Series is a collection of empathically reflective stories told from the perspective of young children. These books are meant to be used by parents and mental health providers to facilitate the child’s verbalization of their feelings and experiences, thereby advancing the healing process and are aimed at validating the readers’ experiences and feelings, thereby reducing feelings of shame and isolation.  

Once a Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M Holmes

After Sherman sees something terrible happen, he becomes anxious and then angry, but when a counselor helps him talk about these emotions he feels better.

Once I Was Very Very Scared by Chandra Ghosh Ippen

A little squirrel announces that he was once very, very, scared and finds out that he is not alone. Lots of little animals went through scary experiences, but they react in different ways. Turtle hides and gets a tummy ache, monkey clings, dog barks, and elephant doesn’t like to talk about it. They need help, and they get help from grown-ups who help them feel safe and learn ways to cope with difficult feelings. This story was written to help children and grown-ups understand how stress can affect children and ways to help them.  

The King and Queen of Mean by Lynn Namka

Is your child confused about why some people are mean? It’s tough being a child of a selfish, or cruel parent or relative. The King and Queen of Mean helps children understand narcissistic behavior and the erratic actions of people with personality disorders. This book gives a light-hearted explanation about the self-involved behavior of family members. It teaches children to observe how people treat each other so that they can make informed choices about taking care of themselves. The book does not use the word narcissism. As your child grows up, he or she will encounter the concept of personality disorders and draw their own conclusions about the actions of egotistical, self-centered family members. It includes two articles on helping children when divorcing or sharing custody with a personality-disorder parent. The book was written by the author of the popular LynneNamka.com who writes extensively about narcissism. Twenty adults who grew up with a hateful parent gave input to the content of this book which helps children understand malicious adult behavior.

 

And for older children…

Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool by Jody Lamb

Twelve-year-old Easter Ann Peters has a plan to make seventh grade awesome: Operation Cool. She’s determined to erase years of being known as the quiet, straight-A student who can’t think of a decent comeback to a bully she calls Horse Girl. When the confident new girl, Wreni, becomes her long-needed best friend, Easter lets her personality shine. The coolest guy in school takes a sudden interest.

But as tough times at school fade away, so does a happy life at home. Mom is drinking, and Easter works double-overtime to keep their secret in the tiny lakeside town. Operation Cool derails. Fast. Click here to buy

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Lisa Frederiksen

Author | Speaker | Consultant | Founder at BreakingTheCycles.com

Lisa Frederiksen is the author of hundreds of articles and 12 books, including her latest, "10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What you really need to know when your loved one drinks too much,” and "Loved One In Treatment? Now What!” She is a national keynote speaker with over 30 years speaking experience, consultant and founder of BreakingTheCycles.com. Lisa has spent the last 19+ years studying and simplifying breakthrough research on the brain, substance use and other mental health disorders, secondhand drinking, toxic stress, trauma/ACEs and related topics.

Latest posts by Lisa Frederiksen (see all)

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