How to Stay Sober at Work While Remaining Social | Guest Author Ken Seeley
How to stay sober at work — whether it is after a period of time in a residential treatment center or while navigating your own recovery path — can be difficult enough. But when you add the “pressure” to join in social activities with co-workers or participate in conferences or work-related meetings and events where drinking is the norm (and sometimes, “expected”), staying sober can be especially difficult at times.
Today’s guest author, Ken Seeley, shares his top five suggestions for how to stay sober at work while remaining social. Ken is an internationally acclaimed interventionist, having years of experience in this field. Certified as a Board Registered Interventionist-Level 2, Seeley has worked full-time in the business of recovery and intervention since 1989. He is a regular contributor to CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, Fox, and ABC on the topics of addiction and intervention. He was one of three featured interventionists on the Emmy Award winning television series, Intervention, on A&E. He is also the author of “Face It and Fix It,” about overcoming the denial that leads to common addictions while bringing guidance to those struggling with addiction. Ken Seeley is the founder and C.E.O. of Ken Seeley Communities, a full spectrum addiction recovery program located in Palm Springs, California.
How to Stay Sober at Work While Remaining Social by Ken Seeley
Just making the important decision to go into treatment for a substance use disorder is laudable. Taking that step is, to many, one of the most difficult decisions they have ever made. It isn’t an easy choice to willingly subject oneself to something that will involve a certain amount of suffering before the dawn breaks, revealing a new lease on life.
After this significant accomplishment it is time to return to the workplace and pick up where you left off. Well, sort of. Going back to work after rehab feels different. The person you were when you took that leave is not the person who now sits among those coworkers. Outwardly, you may appear to be the same, but in reality, your entire essence has been recalibrated toward living a life in sobriety.
To colleagues who were accustomed to seeing their coworker hung-over or, worse, absent due to the substance abuse, they may be pleasantly surprised upon noticing his or her improved appearance, renewed attention to grooming, and mental clarity on the job. What they may not be prepared for is how their coworker’s newfound sobriety has profoundly reshaped the way they will approach work-related events and outings.
For the newly sober, returning to work may involve a careful balancing act—remaining engaged and social with colleagues without taking a slip. To help navigate this often treacherous landscape here are some helpful pointers:
Prioritize Recovery
Returning to work can be triggering. Maybe there were boozy happy hours that you regularly participated in. Maybe you got high during work hours. Maybe the work culture itself is steeped in a party atmosphere. Maybe the line of work you do involves lots of travel, dinners out, drinks with clients.
Making one’s recovery the top priority may necessitate needed changes, including changing the type of work or work environment in which you spend most of your waking hours. Someone in early recovery may need to reevaluate whether their work space or job itself is supportive of recovery, and if not, to make necessary changes.
Keep It Short and to the Point
When coworkers ask where you have been the last six weeks you have a choice, to explain your addiction issues and your need for treatment, or to evade the question. Why not find a middle ground instead? Owning up to your rehab stint may actually be a positive. Coworkers will respect that you were proactive about getting control over the substance abuse before it destroyed your life.
You can also be a positive example for others struggling with addiction who are inspired by your decision to get help. But there is no need to go into all the gory details of the addiction or detox or treatment. Just a simple statement like, “I recognized I had a problem and wanted to get some help” is sufficient.
Have a Plan for How to Stay Sober at Work
At work the calendar may be filled with work events, conferences, and parties that could pose a risk to sobriety. After all, many of these events are alcohol-saturated. Go back to work with a game plan for managing these social events. Remaining engaged socially is important to one’s career aspirations, as being a team player is a valued asset. Select events where you feel the least amount of potential triggering will occur.
When attending a work event, keeping a glass of sparkling water or some type of non-alcoholic drink in your hand can dissuade others from ordering you a beverage. Stay at the event just long enough to socialize a bit or participate in whatever classes or seminars, and then bail. Prioritize recovery by limiting the time spent in the presence of alcohol and inebriated coworkers.
Manage Stress
Work stress can itself be triggering. In fact, many substance use disorders originate as self-medicating for intense stress and anxiety caused by a demanding job. Coordinate with coworkers a lunchtime hike or run to let some steam off while also engaging socially. Plan to meet coworkers after work at the gym. They will benefit, too, by substituting happy hour with a good workout.
When you feel a surge of anxiety on the job, just take a short break and do some deep breathing exercises to immediately reduce stress. Other options include mindfulness meditation, the purposeful focus on the present moment along with the breathing rhythm. Access a meditation app on your lunch hour, or take a yoga class after work. Regulating work-related stress is imperative in recovery.
Continuing Care
Treatment does not end when you are discharged from a successfully completed residential drug treatment programs. Sustained recovery depends on incorporating the continuing care aspects that help reinforce recovery, especially in those tenuous early months.
One of the main continuing care activities is participating in recovery meetings. If you have coworkers who are also in the program, why not join them at meetings or invite them to yours. Finding social support in the workplace is an added protective factor against relapse. Other important continuing care efforts should include a weekly therapy session and getting a sponsor.
It is definitely possible to remain socially engaged at work while in recovery. Learning to be selective about which work events might be worth skipping, or attending a meeting prior to a social outing are skills that will become second nature as recovery ensues.
Always have an exit plan prepared when you do attend a work party, and while there, confidently decline any offers of booze without any explanation at all. If you feel you need to say something, just say you are on antibiotics and leave it at that.
Anyone who has had the internal fortitude to gut out detox and rehab should feel proud of that accomplishment, not shame. Go back to work with your head held high knowing that you have made a life-empowering change that will benefit you, your coworkers, and your loved ones for years to come.