5 Reasons People Relapse After Years of Sobriety
This post was first written in 2014, but the 5 reasons people relapse after years of sobriety are still important to understand. So I updated with current information in 2020.
With 21st Century brain and addiction-related science, we can help people understand why a person would relapse after years of sobriety. When we understand, we can better prevent.
I was driven to write this post after receiving phone calls and emails following the news of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death and an outpouring of comments, shares and likes on the status update I posted on my various social networking sites:
Rehab and sobriety at 22; relapsing after 23 years clean; drug detox treatment in 2013 – died of an apparent overdose, “The syringe was in his arm,” quoting from Kiki Von Glinow’s article linked below.
Tragic, tragic, tragic and all the more reason we must band together to shatter the shame, stigma, denial, misinformation and blame and truly understand the hallmarks of the brain disease of #addiction – one of which is relapse.
May he rest in peace…
The responses were typical of those I’ve heard over the years when similar tragedies occur – most of which do not involve the rich and/or famous. They range from deep, deep sadness to anger at the disease of addiction to fear it could happen to their loved one to incredulousness – “how after 23 years clean?” – to this one, “Sorry, I quit buying the PC climate of ‘poor me, it’s someone else’s fault’ BS a long time ago. The only person responsible for this man’s death is the person that stuck the needle in his arm.”
So I decided to use this post to share five key reasons a person relapses – even after decades of sobriety – and the 21st century scientific concepts that can counter these reasons.
Not Understanding the Basics of How the Brain Works
Unless you understand the basics of how the brain works, it’s difficult to understand, let alone appreciate, how drugs and alcohol chemically and structurally change the way it works, which in turn changes the way brain cells communicate with one another, which in turn changes a person’s behaviors.
When a brain has crossed the line from substance use to abuse to dependence (addiction), that person’s brain is no longer their own – meaning the brain they had before their addiction. [This is not to say they can’t get it back, but to do so, they must treat their brain disease.]
Here are two articles to help explain how it is the brain controls everything we think, feel, say and do, hence the reason substance use disorders can change how it works: Here’s to Neural Networks! and Understand Brain Maps | Change a Habit | Change Your Life
Not Understanding Relapse as a Hallmark of This Brain Disease Which is Why a Person Might Relapse After Years of Sobriety
By its simplest definition, disease is something that changes cells in a negative way. When you change cell health in a body organ, you change the health and function of that organ. Addiction changes cells and the cell-to-cell communications in the brain, which is what makes it a brain disease, aka brain disorder.
The concept of embedded brain maps (shared above), the characteristics of this disease (physical dependence, cravings, tolerance and loss of control) and the nature of relapse with any chronic disease, like addiction, helps explain why relapse can happen. The science now shows that relapse is a sign that it needs to be modified. It’s not that treatment failed, nor that the person has not had days/months/years of healthier brain function. It’s that something’s changed and treatment/recovery needs to be changed. For more of this check out these articles: Why Addiction Relapse Can Be Stronger Than the Determination to Stay Clean and Addiction Relapse – Do You Have to Start Recovery Over from Day 1?
Not Treating the Entry Points to One’s Disease Nor Understanding What Constitutes Effective Treatment
Typically people – addicts, alcoholics, siblings, spouses, close friends, in-laws, co-workers, children, law makers, the criminal justice system – in other words, most of society – do not understand the disease, nor do they understand what causes it. Addiction is a developmental disease, meaning a person is not born an addict | alcoholic. Addiction starts with substance abuse* chemically and structurally changing the brain, making the brain more susceptible to the five key risk factors for developing the disease: genetics, mental illness, childhood trauma, social environment and early use.
When you don’t understand the disease or its causes, you have a much harder time treating it. So, for example, if you don’t’ treat a person’s mental illness (depression, PTSD, mental illness) at the same time you treat their addiction, the mental illness may be the brain’s trigger to use the substance it found so soothing in the beginning.
21st Century brain and addiction-related research now shows that many “things” can help with brain function recovery (and therefore with treating addiction), including behavioral therapies, medications, effective co-occurring disorders treatment, nutrition, exercise, sleep, mindfulness practices, different treatment protocols for adolescent addiction vs adult addiction, 12-step and non-12-step programs, a strong, long aftercare program (in other words, detox and rehab are just the beginning – the brain is not healed in 28 days), and so on. But the most important finding is the overarching concept that treating addiction means treating the brain and that is complicated, and it most often requires a combination of treatment protocols because you are healing that person’s brain.
For more information:
- About addiction, visit NIDA’s website, “Drugs, Brains, and Behaviors: The Science of Addiction.”
- About treating addiction, visit NIDA’s website, “Principles of Effective Treatment: A Research Based Guide.”
Not Understanding the Power of Stress to Trigger a Relapse of the Disease
Stress is such a brain changer – truly. Stress, such as that which we experience on the job, raising children, in relationships, during career changes, after a sports injury, during a divorce, coping with secondhand drinking, after a traumatic event…, activates the brain’s fight-or-flight stress response system. One of the things that can give a person a sense of calm when under stress is using a drug or drinking alcohol. Why? Because the drug and alcohol chemicals work on the brain’s pleasure/reward pathways, the pathways that make the brain (the person) feel good. Understanding that stress can be a trigger to use, can help one take necessary steps to reduce and/or minimize it.
Check out “Chronic Stress, Drug Use, and Vulnerability to Addiction,” by Rajita Sinha, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Psychiatry, Director, Yale Interdisciplinary Stress Center, Yale University School of Medicine, appearing in the Annals of New York Academy of Sciences.
Family Members, Friends, Co-Workers and Society as a Whole Not Understanding all of the Above
The more we can educate, share, talk about and incorporate this kind of information into our belief and action systems, the better able we will be to support one another, to treat addiction and to prevent one of its key hallmarks, relapse. You see, if a family member, for example, understood brain maps, they’d understand any use of a substance, such a Vicodin prescribed for pain following a car accident, is cause for concern, and that it is okay to insist the doctor know about the addiction, that the prescription use be monitored and the duration of dose be very limited and delivered by someone other than the addict in recovery.
Or a teacher observing a child acting out in school would understand the behavior is a possible symptom of the chaos and trauma going on in their home with a parent’s untreated addiction and have received training in how to gently screen for that, with a school administration also trained on the new ways of handling “disruptive” students, the child could be helped before s/he becomes labeled a “problem.”
Or a county corrections department rehabilitating prisoners incarcerated for nonviolent, drug-related crimes would have trained clinical staff who incorporate clinical evaluations that solidly screen for addiction, mental illness, childhood trauma and genetic influences based on family history and then treat the whole person and the whole problem, including their family members to whom they will return, as part of the rehabilitation process.
Most definitely, this is very pie-in-the-sky, but hey, we didn’t send men to the moon in 1969 after just 9 short years of preparation without a dream, followed by scientific discovery, funding opportunities, the collaboration of agencies and brilliant minds and the backing of everyday Americans who saw the importance of space exploration.
Bottom Line
When it comes to addiction, we’ve got the scientific discoveries and the brilliant minds and are gaining when it comes to collaborations amongst agencies and securing necessary funding sources. But, our biggest challenge is getting the backing of everyday Americans to embrace the fact that addiction is a chronic, often relapsing brain disease that can most definitely be treated, giving the person with the disease a lifetime in joy and recovery. That’s when we’ll shatter the shame of this disease and it will fall into rank and file with other diseases. That’s when we’ll be able to cite the science to counter the reasons why people often relapse after years in sobriety.
You may also want to read my latest book, 10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me, You’d Stop! The first half explains alcohol use disorders (drinking problems) – how they’re developed and treated and what long-term recovery requires. In the case of alcohol abuse, for example, it’s possible to learn to “re-drink,” but in the case of alcoholism, it must be total abstinence from alcohol, yet in both cases, there are other brain healing aspects necessary in order to address “why” a person finds themselves drinking to these extents in the first place (e.g., trauma, anxiety, depression, social environment…).
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Note: This post was originally published February 3, 2013. It was updated with current information in 2020. Comments on this post include those made on the original post.
Lisa Frederiksen
Latest posts by Lisa Frederiksen (see all)
- Does a Loved One Have to Hit Bottom? - November 20, 2022
- Resources for Parents of Children with Substance Use and Mental Disorders - October 18, 2022
- 4 Things to Support Brain Health and Function for Recovery - August 30, 2022
Thank you, Lisa, for seizing this important time for beating the drum of awareness. My hope is that folks will welcome education as a way to make sense of what has been so difficult to understand about addiction. The best we can do is to persist. The more understanding, the less stigma. The less stigma, the more people in need will seek help and treatment. Thank goodness insurance companies can no longer discriminate against folks with this brain disease. Getting needed support will become much more accessible.
Thank you so much for this Shelley, and I love your point,”The more understanding, the less stigma. The less stigma, the more people in need will seek help and treatment.” I really appreciate you sharing this post with your clients and followers, as well.
Thanks Lisa – very timely and definitely important. It strikes me that we aren’t doing after detox care worth a &%$#! So many people OD after they have been in rehab for 28/30 days, and we KNOW this is a very vulnerable time. More people needs to read article like this, and I will do my part to share it. As always, thanks so much Lisa!!
Thank you, thank you, Leslie! It’s complicated but so much easier to understand when we understand the science behind all of this. I really appreciate your help with sharing this article.
You have written a very informative post here, Lisa, at a time when many are asking questions, not understanding and passing judgement on a disease that needs to be brought in the limelight. It was interesting that right after the news report about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, there was a mention about a new campaign that will be starting on TV to encourage kids to not smoke. While this is definitely needed, why do they not do this same kind of thing for addiction awareness and prevention? It doesn’t make sense that this isn’t being blasted from the highest rooftops. They have the ability to turn this around, and I continue to wonder what they are waiting for. Thanks as always!!
You are so right on, Cathy!! And as we both know, early abuse (while the brain is going through key developmental stages – especially ages 12 – 20) is one of the key risk factors for developing the disease. I think they need to move away from “just say no” to focusing on the brain and how it interprets and wires (develops) because it’s such a Catch-22. The part of the brain that drives risk and turning to one’s peers develops first – the part that is the brakes on these networks and that can reason through why waiting is so important for longterm brain health doesn’t’ even start to develop until around age 16 and takes until 22 for girl and 24 for boys. But I know you know this… I just tend to get revved up about it. Thanks so much for your comment and all you do to help parents better understand what’s involved and how important it is to effectively intervene.
Definite pattern here, Lisa. Let’s see – out of the five reasons, we have four “Not Understanding’s” and one “Not Treating” (which is often a manifestation of “Not Understanding”). Is it any wonder tragic relapses occur? Certainly, the addict has first responsibility; however, I don’t believe we can excuse family members, friends – society as a whole. I’m thinking in most cases the “Not’s” don’t nearly as often apply within the realm of, say, cancer. And I’m also thinking that’s the case because the medical field, government, society, etc. give it so much attention and research. Hmmm, but when it comes to addiction and the emotional/mental disorders – oh well. Great info as usual, Lisa. Necessary info, in fact. Thanks so much for your passion and dedication…
Bill
I definitely agree the addict has first responsibility, although it’s so much more difficult to embrace all that needs to be done when you don’t understand the disease you have – especially for a teen or young adult. It’s interesting your funding point – the whole effort to study and understand the brain started in 1990 when President Bush challenged the country to do just that – and that’s when we started seeing funding opportunities like never before. The 1990s were labeled the Decade of the Brain and the 2000s, the Decade of Discovery. Let’s hope now is the time to really take addiction and mental illness on, the same way we’ve taken on other diseases, like cancer, HIV, heart disease… As always, I really appreciate your insights and comment, Bill!!
I know this is super important, Lisa, because my pulse quickens and my anger management software boots up as I try to understand why your comprehensive, evidence based, clear explanation above is not mainstream. It is as if there’s a vested interest in this society in remaining ignorant of the science even at the expense of these desperately sad outcomes. What could that interest possibly be?
Here’s to, as you say Lisa, pulling into 21st Century awareness and out of the dark ages regarding this life and death matter. Thanks for your HUGE part in this endeavor.
Thank you so much, Herby, for your enthusiasm and support of this effort – one you’ve been long working in, as well. And thank you for sharing this piece with your readers and helping to further spread the word!
What a wonderful, educational piece. Why didn’t I find you 10 years ago when I was in the depths of the cycle of addiction with my ex husband and desperate for information, understanding and direction? I have found your site as a result of you posting one of my blog entries (which I appreciate) I will spend a lot of time here as my ex still has not found recovery after two rehabs and many other attempts at sobriety. Thanks for your research and smarts!! The blog piece you read was part of a book idea I am working on. When I was living in the chaos of the disease I was desperate for books and resources that 1. validated what I was experiencing and 2. gave me real, scientific information about addiction, and real help in how to navigate holding a family together amidst the disease. Wish I had discovered your book “IF You Loved Me You would Stop” earlier than today! It took me years to realize even though it felt like that, that was not a reality. If I can somehow articulate my experience in such a way that it helps a family survive the experience, I want to do that! Thanks again for sharing my piece and for your work on addiction.
Suzi Pease
Thank you so much, Suzi – I’m glad you’ve found my site helpful! I’m with you on what I could not find in the way of help when I started down this road, which, as you saw, became the basis for the books I’ve written in this area. And I remember being so angry with terms such as codependency or enabler as I was just trying to keep it all together for all of us, at the time, which is why I now speak of what happens to the family as secondhand drinking or secondhand drugging – this post shares some of what I’m talking about, http://www.breakingthecycles.com/blog/2013/02/23/secondhand-drinking-prevention/
I loved your piece and think it makes for a great book idea. I want to share it in this reply so that other visitors to this post can read it, as well – http://splitpease.wordpress.com/2014/02/05/what-i-want-you-to-know-about-living-with-an-alcoholic/ – it describes what it’s like to a T!
My husband is a mean MEAN hateful alcoholic and after 5 years he has finally given it up because we have a baby now and I threatened to leave him if he didnt quit. He WILLINGLY quit drinking on Nov. 11,2014 and it is now Jan, 2nd 2015 and kept saying he wants to buy “a” beer. He was so angry that I told him no. when he pledged to be sober we made it official. He wrote his sobriety promise on paper and everything. How long until he stobs craving the alcohol?
Mean DRUNK*
he is nice when hes sober BTW
Hi Brandi – thank you for reaching out. You may find this post by guest author, Bill Urell, helpful http://www.breakingthecycles.com/blog/2011/10/26/when-an-alcoholic-stops-drinking-but-does-not-seem-to-get-better-perhaps-shes-a-dry-drunk/. As far as when cravings will stop – understanding cravings and how to treat them may help answer that question – this link takes you to The Addiction Project’s page on this subject (The Addiction Project is a collaboration of NIDA, NIAAA, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and HBO) http://www.hbo.com/addiction/understanding_addiction/13_craving.html Lastly, feel free to call 650-362-3026 or email lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com with further questions.
Lisa, I have read your articles. I am extremely interested at this particular time. My son (who has been doing various drugs since 16) finally got clean in 2007. He is 41. His behavior has ruined a few of his relationships. I was in denial for years. He has been sober 8 years. He recently took two of my hydrocodone. I talked to him about it. He said that with all of the stress in his life right now he bought a few from “someone” and only took a couple every few days. He promised never to do it again. We live in different cities. He went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed a stimulant for ADHD and Klonopin. He has never been diagnosed with ADHD before. I am not sure which happened first the doctors prescriptions or the pain pills. But, it has all happened within the last 2 or 3 months. Since this has happened, he has been demoted at work and transfer to a less desirable neighborhood to work because of things he “forgot” to do. He told me he has it under control. I am extremely concerned and do not know what to do. I was wondering if you have any thoughts as to where and what I should do next. Can’t it be stopped before it becomes a complete relapse?
Hi Kathy – it most definitely can be stopped. It’s best to take our conversation to my email, lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com, or give me a call at my office, 650-362-3026. Thank you.
My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict. He had been clean and sober for 17 years. He has started drinking and using drugs again and i truly never appreviated how hard it had been for him to stay clean and sober until now. I see the look in his eyes as he struggles to keep his drinking and using under control and it breaks my heart. My husband is truly one of the strongest people i know and this in no way has lessened my opinion of him. Thanks for the article and the hope!
I’m so sorry to hear of your husband’s struggle, Marisol. I wish you both the very best and thank you for writing.
I just drank again after 20 years of “not drinking”, but I was not really sober per se. I tried weed a half-dozen times early in, but it just made me sick. I use anxiety medications for anxiety – and I never abuse Ativan because I depend on it for driving, and for work. I only take it when panic attacks are coming on. But Seroquel was too much like oblivion and I used that it my later stages of a failing marriage to get some momentary relief from the pain, stress and grief of being in an untenable situation. (Nothing worse than trying to fix a failing marriage while not getting any further ahead on the main problems causing it to fail…)
Now, after drinking 6 out of the last 10 days (2 of which were a rather heavy Friday and Saturday) I feel strung out and that general anxiety is back again. Can I control my drinking? Somewhat. Do I want to? After 2 or three drinks? No. Just… no. I don’t want to at that point.
For some of us having a “couple of drinks” is just not realistic. For us, alcohol is a bit time high – and for us it’s like having one bite of cake or stopping sex after a “couple of thrusts”. You just do that. You eat the cake until the piece is gone, you have sex until orgasm, and with alcoholics you drink until you are too drunk to continue drinking. Granted, I stopped both times at “really drunk” before I got into “stupor” stage but how soon will I keep drinking until it’s that bad again?
I don’t regret going back (surprisingly). I thought I needed that in my life again, because my life feels so mundane, bleak, boring and empty. Like getting on a treadmill each and every day, each day having less energy and motivation than the last. I guess when I finally *let go* of my ex wife here a couple months back, it really hit me that I am now a near-broke single dad with two kids and very little else going on in my life.
I tried my best to take care of my kids but I somehow thought I didn’t need to take care of myself or my own needs. What a mistake that was. I wonder at times what model for living I will pass down to my kids – they say “Daddy, all you do is work and you never play with us anymore!” It’s sad, but I really don’t know what to *do* with myself or with my kids – being autonomous and trying and learning new things does NOT at all come naturally to me, and parenting is even harder. I live in a such a tiny tiny world it’s no wonder I needed to drink again to make it bearable.
I chose to drink. It was my choice. Alcoholics apparently don’t have a choice.
I choose not to drink on any day I have my kids with me – if I break that rule, it’s back on the wagon. For now, I plan to see if I can drink occasionally (albeit excessively) and not every day I don’t have the kids. I just can’t do it – I can’t afford it financially, physically or vocationally. I just can’t do everything I need to do when I am recovering from heavy alcohol use. Also, it’s 20 years later and now in my mid forties I feel how much alcohol slows me down… I am not 20 or 25 anymore!
Anyways, that’s what happened to me. I think my relapse was inevitable because although I “didn’t drink” I never really learned how to make a new life for myself and LIVE sober. If you can’t do that, you probably won’t be able to quit whatever it is you’re abusing.
That’s my 2 cents.
Thank you so much Northern_Guy for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you will know if you won’t be able to learn to re-drink. You also may be interested in reading this post of mine, “Problematic Drinking and the Harm Reduction Debate,” http://www.breakingthecycles.com/blog/2015/04/07/problematic-drinking-harm-reduction-debate/. Wishing you all the best, Lisa
Lisa
Well done per usual. Addiction is more than a brain disease. It is a psychobiosocial disorder. Treating the biological without addressing the underlying trauma does not work. Never has, never will. Addiction is a manifestion of personal dislocation and substance use is a natural reaction to hopelessness and emotional pain. Unfortunately, excessive substance use is followed by addiction and guranteed exile into the secondary deviant subculture that becomes the world of the “addict”. Epigenetic predisposition is just that, predisposition but it does not mean predetermined. Relapse is a constant reality to all those in recovery and has the same incidence as any major chronic disorder.
My hope is that we as a society come to understand that there is no magic bullet nor one single component (biological) that can address te phenomen of addiction. Addicts are people who are in pain and heroin is the best pain killer available and overdose is the end of a person’s life who just wants to come home.
So well said, Tim… thank you for weighing in and sharing your wealth of knowledge – very much appreciate it!
I relapsed after 20 years of continued abstinence from alcohol. I am not sure that my “brain chemistry” or structure was the culprit though… I was going into year three of my divorce. The first year I spent in a romantic fog trying to deny it and show her how i changed. The second year was one of great turmoil – it ended with me having a big fight with her and a sudden moment of clarity, combined with rage and a strong desire to let her go. I was also exploring sex addiction at this time, and experimenting with 2 and 3 long periods of “complete abstinence” (although already sexually abstinent). Suddenly, I became manic (I am being treated for bi-polar). I was going out every single night to bars and drinking “de-alcoholized” beer. Where I was a homebody who enjoyed solitude and preparing for my nights with the kids, I was now unable to stay at home alone – the silence was deafening. In the evenings when I returned home, I often called “support lines” and “health lines” just to hear a voice. I could not handle the deafening silence in the house. After a few months of this madness, I picked up a drink. I felt that as a divorced man with two kids and financial stress and no available “resources” for any future relationship I had nothing left to really live for, and nowhere to go. I really had an overwhelming sense of “f*** it all” something I never once had in 20 years of sobriety. Where I was once proud of my ability to abstain, even in the company of drinkers, I now felt that my sobriety was a social liability (stupid I know). After 6 months of binge drinking, I start “quitting”. I have tried to quit (seriously) 7 or 8 times, twice for a week, twice for two weeks, for three weeks, for four weeks, for seven weeks. The last time was 42 days. I relapsed Nov. 10 2016. I stopped on Dec. 30 (Friday) and am now two days sober. I have an appointment with my therapist on the 12th of January, my first “check point” into Year 2017 sobriety. I won’t / can’t do 12 step (I did 12 step for 2 years then I did 18 years on my own the first time). AA would say I was never sober the entire time, I have no time for such nonsense. AA would say that I (obviously) knew nothing about sobriety because I picked up a drink. Also, nonsense. What happened is that divorce shattered my life and I didn’t get the right help for it. When I tried to face being alone, actually alone, I snapped and became manic. Maybe it was a combination of bi-polar with trying to abstain from sexual release while going through a stressful time. I was really trying to improve myself, because when I decided to let her go (emotionally) I wanted to prepare myself for a possible relationship by “healing” myself sexually and not using porn or excessive self-gratification as a “soothing” tool. Anyways, that’s my story of relapse. It was really planned in a way, as I chose bar-rooms to hang around in. I joked about having a drink with the bar crowd until the day I actually picked up that drink. Now, I know that if I have so much as a single drink in 2017, that year will be ruined. The decade will be ruined. My health will continue to deteriorate. The ascites will worsen, as will my weight, blood pressure and cardiovascular health. A human cannot drink 8 drinks a day every day and have a long life. It’s not possible. I will die early, and my children will not have my guidance and support. I cannot have “one or two” and I never wanted one or two and never will. I must hang on to this knowledge, get help for my divorce “strategy” and counselling and choose abstinence above all else. I did wonder if I would drink problematically at this age and to my surprise I drink WORSE than I did in my twenties. In my twenties I was a weekend warrior. This time around, I’m a daily hard drinker. I hope I can quit in time – my health was beginning to decline rapidly. I would suggest that people who are sober for long periods do not forget that too much stress, doing too many new things at once, not getting help for crisis, and not knowing warning signs of mental illness can all lead to a drink, even after prolonged abstinence. It happened to me. I really want what I had back again, and I believe I can get it. Knowing I can’t drink AT ALL is important, as will be doing things I need to do to stay sober, and avoiding all social situations where there is pressure to drink. I can no longer afford those luxuries. Sorry for the long post… just organising my thoughts. Having a hard time sleeping… withdrawing. Kind of rev’d up. Twitching, no seizures, thank God. Need Ativan. Need to try and sleep… I am considering medical detox. If these symptoms worsen, I wont’ have a choice. If I have seizures I will not be able to drive, or work, or care for my kids, until they subside. Wish me luck.
Dear Northern Guy – thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story. You’ve described the perfect storm for a relapse (no matter how many years sober a person is, relapses can and do happen), and you’re describing the important steps / remedies you plan to follow to get back on track. PLEASE feel free to give me a call 650-362-3026 or send me an email at lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com. I have some suggestions that might help. I’m in California on PST so if I don’t answer, I will call you back. Take care, Lisa
I just saw my post from 6 days after the original relapse. Even 6 days in, I was confused about what was going on and why I had relapsed. It took a lot of reflection to really understand (looking back) how things led up to the relapse. It seriously felt like there was no way out, so this “What’s the point” attitude took over. That attitude is *deadly* whether you’re 20 weeks, 20 months, or 20 years into recovery. The idea that I was “fully cured” and could drink “normally” again was a massive lie. I can’t believe I believed that, actually. I really want to end this relapse now. Really bad.
Dear Northern Guy – just in case you haven’t seen my reply to your other comment, please feel free to give me a call at 650-362-3026 (no charge) – I have some suggestions that may help. Lisa
Thank you for writing and posting this article. I have struggled with addiction since the late 1980s, been through treatment 3 times, regular attendance at AA, and I am a masters degree RN. I only heard if PAWS about 9 months ago and began reading about it which led to more reading of recent studies concerning the neurobiology associated with addiction and relapse. Finally coming to understand I have a “brain disease.” This I can understand and it takes the baffling mystery of relapse out of the equation. Learning and understanding about the changes that occurred, and those that remain and will remain, was a turning point in how I approach my recovery. The results are fantastic. There really is no mystery and n recovery, or relapse. Now the focus is on promoting brain health, which happens to promote full person health, and all of tgecrelapse prevention techniques make sense. I also learned, and experienced, the value of healthy diet, exercise, sleep, routine, and how all of these counter the mechanisms associated with PAWS. Anyway, thank you for this article….. Finally someone who is making the science of addiction and more importantly, recovery known in straight forward terms.
It’s wonderful to hear this article helped. I’m with you – the science explains so much and helps to take the mystery out of how a person develops addiction and successfully treats it. Thanks for writing!
My daughter 60 years old is now 17 years sobriety and does the steps and goes to meetings but now
is smoking Marijuana several times a week with a new boyfriend which she says she loves.
I’m 82, her Mother and she said she does it for pain. ???? I’m Stage 4 Cancer survivor. I am devastated. I called down on this. She also rewrote the Reports as her being Treasury of her meeting place says she was making them neat. I and her brother don’t believe her. Years ago, she stole a lot over a period of time from me and the company we both worked for. I could go on. This isn’t she first offense. Should I contact her meeting place and tell them>
Hi Elaine – I would be happy to schedule a free phone call to talk with you about this. Please send an email to lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com to arrange a time. ~Lisa