As Drinking Escalates the During Covid 19 Pandemic – Interview with Lisa Frederiksen
As drinking escalates during the Covid-19 Pandemic under the stay-at-home orders put in place to combat the spread of the virus, families need answers. What should they do if they find half-empty bottles — pour them out or line them up on the kitchen counter and confront their loved one? What should they do if their loved one has relapsed? How can they be sure their loved one’s drinking is that big of a problem? How do they even begin the conversation?
These questions and others were the topics discussed in my interview with Scott H. Silverman, Crisis Coach, for his Podcast, Happy Hour. co-hosted with Michael G. Moore.
As Drinking Escalates during the Covid 19 pandemic Stay at Home Orders, Scott H. Silverman interviews Lisa Frederiksen
As Drinking Escalates During the Covid-19 Pandemic
I have shared two excerpts from the transcript of this interview below. To listen to the full interview, now, please click here.
[Scott H. Silverman] The next question, “Why do addicts and alcoholics lie, cheat and steal?”
[Lisa Frederiksen] So generally it is because of the way their brain’s cell-to-cell communication system [meaning the way it controls everything a person thinks, feels, says and does] has been changed by this particular disease. You see, disease, by its simplest definition, is something that changes cells in a negative way. And when you change cells in a body organ, you change the health and function of that body organ. This particular disease [severe alcohol use disorder, aka alcoholism] changes them in the brain. That’s what makes it a brain disease, and the complexities of this particular brain disease are the reason a person ends up behaving the way they do – doing things like lying, cheating and stealing to and from those they love. [Answer continues on the podcast.]
But it’s because of the way the brain has been so compromised. It’s beyond a person’s control [once they’ve crossed the line to alcoholism] if they have the [ethyl alcohol] chemical [that’s in alcoholic beverages] in their brain. And that’s why the first step for treating a asevere alcohol use disorder, aka alcoholism is you have to pull the chemical out in order to let the brain start to balance its natural ways of communicating.
[Scott H. Silverman] The people that are closest to you [the person with severe alcohol use disorder] are the ones that are most impacted by that behavior. So when you hear these things or you listen to this podcast, don’t sit the person down and have them listen to it. You listen to it. You’re the one who sometimes needs to help yourself so you can help the person who suffers the most.
[Lisa Frederiksen] That is so true, Scott. The family is deeply affected because their stress response is getting hammered. And then they start developing toxic stress outcomes, which include health conditions like migraines, stomach ailments, depression, anxiety and sleep disorders. And that changes them. So we need to help the family understand that and then, to your point, get the help they need.
I also want to make another point…. We have to make sure people understand it’s not just alcoholism [it’s binge drinking and alcohol abuse, too] that causes problems. Often people will spend an inordinate amount of time excusing the heavy drinking, saying things like, “He goes to work,” “She only drinks on the week-ends,” and justifying it because they’re so afraid of the label, alcoholic. Instead, they should recall that simple question, “Does my loved one’s behaviors change when they drink?” If so, that’s problem.
So what does one do when the answer is, “Yes?” That’s the reason I wrote my latest book, 10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me You’d Stop! What you really need to know when your loved one drinks too much. It covers all the latest science explaining how a person develops a drinking problem, how it escalates, and then what happens to the family and what they can do to change their health and quality of life independent of what their loved one does or doesn’t do. It’s the book that I wish I’d have found back when I began my own secondhand drinking recovery journey 16+ years ago.
In Closing
Again, to listen to the full interview, please click here. And to get a copy of my book (available in paperback or kindle), please click here for Amazon. It’s also available at most online book retailers and through your local library. This blog post also shares answers to these kinds of questions, “What Now – When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much.”
And as I’ve mentioned in the interview, I’m happy to talk with you via phone, Skype, Zoom or What’sApp (your choice). There is no charge for these initial calls. Just send me an email at lisaf@BreakingTheCycles.com to schedule.
And lastly – a big, big thank you to Scott H. Silverman and Michael G. Moore for this interview opportunity!
Lisa Frederiksen
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