Scapegoat Abuse in Alcoholic Families – Andrea Ashley
Scapegoat abuse in alcoholic families is not uncommon. Scapegoat is one of the five roles family members may take on when living in dysfunctional or alcoholic families, according to Sharon Martin, LCSW. The others are mascot, lost child, hero and enabler (caretaker). Dr. Tian Dayton provides a portrait of an alcoholic family in her article…
Read MoreTalking to a Child About a Parent’s Drinking – Secondhand Drinking
Talking to a child about a parent’s drinking – Secondhand Drinking – HOW do you do it? How do you sooth a child whose mommy or daddy yells at them or belittles them when they’ve been drinking. How do you explain to a child their daddy and mommy still loves them when you don’t believe…
Read MoreUsing Brain and ACEs Science to Fight Social Challenges
Using brain and ACEs science to fight social challenges has been a theme running through several of my recent Zoom PowerPoint presentations. The social challenges I refer to are juvenile and criminal justice, homelessness, recidivism, substance use and mental health disorders and secondhand drinking. Audiences have included the Sacramento Area Re-Entry Network, Hope Cooperative Sacramento,…
Read MoreCodependents – StrongWilled or Willful? – Darlene Lancer
Codependents – strong-willed or willful? is a question frequent guest author, Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, explores in her post below. As she writes, “A strong-minded person accepts life on life’s terms, which provides a solid basis for constructive, effective action that is well-considered and not compulsive. Having a strong will is having a strong mind.…
Read MoreAs Drinking Escalates the During Covid 19 Pandemic – Interview with Lisa Frederiksen
As drinking escalates during the Covid-19 Pandemic under the stay-at-home orders put in place to combat the spread of the virus, families need answers. What should they do if they find half-empty bottles — pour them out or line them up on the kitchen counter and confront their loved one? What should they do if…
Read MoreWhat Now – When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much
When your loved one drinks too much – what now? After 16+ years of doing this work, even I am surprised by the significant increase in emails I’m receiving from readers under Covid-19 stay-at-home orders. They’ve discovered hidden bottles or caught their loved one in lies covering up their relapse. They’ve realized they just can’t…
Read MoreWhat To Do When Your Loved One is in Treatment
Your loved one has finally decided (or was left with no other option than) to seek treatment for their alcohol or other drug use disorder. You’ve long wanted and fought hard for this. But instead of feeling confident that all will be well, you feel a tumult of emotions. And perhaps the voice screaming loudest…
Read MoreUsing the ACE Score As a Guide – Not a Diagnosis
Using the ACE score as a guide and not a diagnosis is critical. ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) refers to traumatic incidents in childhood and were identified in the epidemiological CDC-Kaiser Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study). This study of 17,000 participants looked at how 10 types of childhood trauma (ACEs) affect long-term health. These include: physical,…
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